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by Pretty Little M
Summary: (Formerly known as Kink) Beautiful, talented, yet introverted Mercedes struggled to find her purpose. A mysterious business card guides her from her spiritless life into the most forbidden of fantasies. She will be pushed to limits that will both shock and excite her.
1. Bottom

I didn't understand how I had gotten there; how did I let myself sink so low? I was board with everything. I knew life wasn't always going to be exciting, but I had been feeling that way for awhile. I was letting myself down, and I felt guilty for it. I was the stay at home girlfriend to a man that was living my dream: Tank got the recording contract and days at the studio, while I had a premium cable package.

"Baby, I'm going to the studio," Tank announce, shoving his phone into his pocket. He stole a kiss when I looked up. He turned to find Tina being led in by a member of our staff. He greeted her with a hug and whispered, "Just try to get her out of the house, please." He left us.

I turned on the couch as Tina sat beside me. I freely shared my despair and angst. "There's nothing I can do with myself. I can't even clean my own house. We have people for that. What am I supposed to do with my time?"

"There's a lot you can do- get a hobby, start a blog, read a book. You used to write music, but you stopped after your label dropped you." Tina looked at me sympathetically. "You can't stay inside this house like you've done for the past two weeks."

I didn't say anything for a moment. "I hate Tank." I watched Tina shake her head at me. "I do."

"No, you don't. You want a reason for your problems, but it's not Tank."

I should have known she wasn't going to understand. She had a life and happiness.

"I don't want to argue with you, so go away," I ordered. I locked myself in my room to wait for her to leave.

* * *

I took Tina's advice and decided to find a book. I explored the aisles of the bookstore, unsure of what I was looking for. After minutes of wandering, I was approached by an employee. I asked for suggestions, and the skinny brunette rushed off.

When she returned, she dropped the book in my hands. "You'll like this one. Might even be life changing."

I looked at the book and thought that the girl was giving too much credit to the romance novel. "Ok," I mumbled before being rung up.

* * *

"You look better."

I looked up from my book and smiled with tight lips. I greeted Tank as he came into the bedroom. "Um-hum." I wasn't at one hundred percent, but it was nice to have a distraction. I put the book to the side, ready for a new activity. "I'm glad you're home. I missed you," I proclaimed to soften my boyfriend. I pulled him close, turning his quick peck into a long passionate kiss.

Tank pulled away when he felt me tugging at the end of his shirt. "Are you sure?" he asked, earning a nod. He held me tighter and then returned for another kiss. He moaned into my mouth, feeling me bush over his erection as I hunted for the button of his pants. He separated us to get out of his clothes and put on a condom. Tank crawled into bed and lied me back.

I enjoyed the sex… for two minutes. My mind started to wander as I stared at the ceiling. I counted three cracks around the base of the chandelier. _That has to be dangerous. The light could fall. I should have someone look at that._ Minutes later, I returned when Tank rolled from over me. I continued to lie there as he left for the bathroom. I reached for my book when I heard the shower start.

Never judge a book by it's cover. I was certain that this was going to be a cheesy romance novel, but as I flipped through chapters, I had a change of heart. The book started as a romance then turned into a hot game of power. It was steamy- It was sexy as hell.

I held the book in one hand while I toyed with my breasts with my other. I squeezed my nipple that poked through my nightgown and I got progressively rougher. I felt bolts of electricity course through my body. Squeezing, twisting, tugging harder, and repeating the steps over and over.

I slowly ran my hand over my breast, down my stomach, to the inside of my thighs, stopping above my clit that ached for a little love and attention too. My finger hovered as I got lost in the fantasy painted by the book. I shudder with delight from a single touch. I started rubbing my clit up and down, and soon, I was panting.

I slid a finger to the entrance of my vagina and I teased it. With the palm of my hand grinding against my clit, I penetrated myself with two fingers. I smoothly moved it in and out. I dropped the book to the floor and didn't even think about stopping to pick it up. I began to moan, "Oh, God, yes. Oh yes." I increased speed and found my hips thrusting with rhythm.

"Baby!" Tank called, causing me to sit straight with fear. "I guess the maid forgot to put towels back in here. Can you get me one from the guest bathroom?"

I cursed under my unsteady breath. "Sure," I yelled back before doing what he asked. When I returned to the bedroom, I found a black business card hanging from between the book's pages.

* * *

I had spent most of the night searching online for the business on the card, but found nothing. I was too curious to leave it alone. I questioned if the store worker knew if the card was in the book.

I hunted around the store for the girl, but failed to find her. I stepped up to the cash register. "I'm looking for one of your workers." I stopped to think of ways to describe her; I needed details that would have made her stand out. "She, um, she has brown hair and a big bow. She wore a lot of jewelry. Um..."

The cashier watched me struggling with my words. "Sugar?"

"Sugar?" I repeated, confused.

They nodded. "Yesterday was her last day."

I thanked the worker and left. I refused to give up on the search, so I followed the address on the card to a small office building. I entered to find a room full of people typing away on computers. When I was noticed, I was approached by a group of employees.

"She's mine!" Sugar declared, shoving through the crowd. After she reached me, she turned to her coworkers. "Shoo!" She began to lead me to her desk. "You finished the book quicker than I expected."

"What is this?" I asked, holding out the business card.

"We are a social network for people curious about exploring their sexual kinks."

"Why would you think that I would be interested in this?"

"I saw you and thought that you'd enjoy it. We're a word of mouth company, so I passed you a card."

"This is not normal," I scolded. "You got a job at a bookstore just to hunt for women that you think would enjoy _exploring sexual kinks_."

Sugar explained her story as a rich girl forced to work. After days of blue collar work, she realized that it wasn't for her. "I had to find a client to bring here. If you enjoyed anything in the book I gave you, then this is your chance to try it yourself. You have to admit chapter 9 is hot." She twirled her pink pin. "First seven days are free. You'll enjoy it," she promised.

I thought about the plot of the book: a woman serving and submitting for her boyfriend's love. Did I have a secret desire to be dominated by a man… a man that wasn't Tank? I couldn't get the words out, but I slowly nodded.

Sugar smile grew. "Great. Fill out these forms and send a nice picture of yourself. If the headmaster approves, you'll be online before the end of the night."

"Who's the headmaster?" I asked, beginning to fill out my forms.

She shrugged. "I haven't seen him- no one has. He started all this."

I finished filling out the paperwork as Sugar bragged about the company. After leaving, I sat in my car, questioning what I had just done.

* * *

 **Thanks for reading. Please** **review** **because** **I'm** **desperate** **to know** **what you** **think or want to see happen in the** **future** **.**


	2. Bind

Sugar was right: I was approved before sundown. I even got a match the next morning, but it took me another day to build up the courage to accept.

Noah "Puck" Puckerman was definitely a looker with his dark hair and hazel eyes. He had the ideal LA body: tan, thin yet muscular build. He was tall, but that wasn't why I felt small standing in front of him. He had a dominating presence that could silence a full room in a second.

I stood still as Puck circled me like a shark. When he stopped in front of me, I held my breath and nervously looked up.

He tugged at the belt of my long trench coat. He nodded, discovering that I was only wearing my underwear. "I see you read all my rules."

"Yes, sir."

Between the rules of the website and the rules Puck put in his profile, I couldn't have read them all. I scanned through a few; enough to know the basics of what he wanted. One of his early rules was that I had to come dressed to play. Another was that I had to answer him using " _sir_."

He took my coat. When he returned, he ordered me to hold out my wrists. Puck buckled a pair of leather cuffs to my wrists and latched me to hooks. "Ready?" he asked, showing off his leather flogger.

I nodded and answered, "Yes, sir." I stood like a Y. I felt shivers as he reached out and straightened my bra strap that slid. I was able to relax feeling the tails of the flogger drag over my body. My pleasure soon ended when I was startled by the first smack. I flinched and bit my lip to hold in my yelp.

Puck stood for a second, drinking in my pain. He resumed flogging. He varied the pace and the intensity to please himself more than me. He did a few swats across my thighs, even less on my lower back, but most were on my ass. When he decided that I had had enough, he unhooked me from behind.

I quickly wiped away my tears, wanting to hide my discomfort. Out of the corner of my eye, I watched Puck free his swollen cock from his jeans and cover it with a condom. I continued to hold my head down until Puck pulled me in for a kiss. I began to inch backwards, wanting to get away, but was stopped by the wall.

He lifted my leg and pulled the crotch of my panties to the side. He gave my thigh a firm squeeze before entering me. He pecked at my shoulder as he started to thrust.

It was all too painful to enjoy. Being against the wall irritated my bruised backside. I couldn't loosen up.

I buried my face in his neck. I tried to push through it, but I couldn't. "Stop. Please stop." I weakly pushed Puck away. I tried to unbuckle the cuffs, but I couldn't see through my tears. "Take these off," I cried, pulling at the leather. As soon as I was free, I snatched my coat and ran out, thinking that that would have been the last time I crossed paths with Puck.

I was relieved to find Tank at home. I rushed into his arms.

Tank chuckled, thinking I was being silly. "What's wrong?" After a moment of silence, he knew I was serious. He kissed the top of my head and promised, "Everything will be okay. Tell me what happened."

I didn't answer. I just wanted him to hold me, and he did all night.

* * *

I stormed up to Sugars desk, ready to tear her a new one. "What the hell was that, Sugar?" I yelled.

She shushed me as she pulled me to sit. "What's wrong? " She saw that I was going to explode on her. "You didn't like Puck?"

"Hell no!"

She shushed me again. "I know you're mad, but if anyone hears about this, than I could lose my job. Your happiness is a priority."

"Well I'm not happy, Sugar!" I argued, not caring if her coworkers heard.

"Okay," she nodded. "I will admit that I made a bad match. Puck might not have been the one for you, but there's so much more on our site. There's a lot for you to explore. You still have a few day of your trial… Give me a second chance."

I held my breath. Like a madwoman, I agreed. "Okay."

* * *

Tank though shopping with Tina would cheer me up from what happened the day before. He left his credit card and reminded me of his award show weeks away.

Tina balanced her bags in her hands. "Tank told me about yesterday. We thought that you were doing so well days before. What happened?" she looked up at me for honesty.

"Um, I was a little overwhelmed," I vaguely answered. "Everyone has bad days."

"Tank and I think you should see the doctor."

"Dr. Chang? He's the worst. No, I'm not going." I declared.

Dr. Chang was recommended to backup Tina after she diagnosed me with depression. A therapist is supposed to listen and help you realize that you're emotionally scarred by someone from your past: your parents, your first love, the creepy mailman with the eye patch. Dr. Chang was always talking. He felt that everything wrong in your life was because of you… Exactly what a self doubting young woman wants to hear.

"Dr. Chang helped you before," Tina explained. "Just tell me you'll think about it."

I agreed to make her drop the subject. Before I could say anything else, I was pushed to the side by a random girl rushing by. I eyed her as she joined a crowd. "Channing Tatum better be in the center of that circle," I growled, beginning to pick up my bags and clothes that fell out.

A blond kneeled to help me and Tina. He smiled and tried to get me to notice him, but I was too busy to pay him any mind at that moment. "Models come here all the time for attention," the man explained. He brushed my hand as he passed my bags.

Standing, I looked up and met his green eyes. I was spellbound and struggling to look away. I finally did, only to get caught by his heavenly smile. I thanked him and silently watched the way his wide lips formed a response. I led Tina away. I was debating with her over where we should have lunch, when I heard my phone ring in my bag.

Sugar had paired me with a new dominant, but I had to accept and meet him as soon as possible.

"Tina," I called, causing her to stop. "I'll take a rain check. Something just came up, and I have to handle it." I rushed off before she could ask any questions that I didn't have an answer to.

* * *

"Are you ready? Do you remember our safeword?" he asked, sitting on the edge of the bed.

I nodded. I pulled at the bindings around my wrists; they were tight, but not uncomfortable. My legs were spread wide on the soft bed sheets. I didn't know what was behind my blindfold. I felt a mixture of arousal and dread. I felt a cool cube breeze over my lip. I licked at my bottom lip to catch the liquid left behind.

It was water.

He rested the ice cube at the top of my chest and watched my skin prickle with goosebumps. He slid the ice down the column between my breasts. From my cleavage, he moved to my right breast, slowly swirled it around my dark nipple. He circled the tip for several seconds before gliding the cube to my left breast and pleasuring that nipple the same way.

I took in a sharp breath and held it as the mystery man wandered down to my stomach. I whimpered with desire as he hesitated against my waist.

He dragged the melting cube along my thighs, forming wet figure-eight. When the ice was gone, he positioned himself over me. He used the water trail to kiss his way back up my body. He traced the valley of my chest with the tip of his tongue. Slowly, he started running his tongue across my breasts, drawing circles around my nipple, but never fully touching it. When he finally took my nipple in his mouth, he began sucking at it. His gentle hand caressed the delicate flesh between her legs, opening the lips to rub my clit. Every swipe of his finger matched the direction of his tongue.

I purred with delight for every minute. My high ended when my dominant crawled away. I felt a heavy loneliness until he returned.

He knelt between my thighs and rubbed the head of his latex covered cock between my lips until it rested against my entrance. He asked if I was ready to go any further, and I gave him a strong yes. Finally, he pushed his cock in slow and deep.

A sigh escapes me as he carefully moved in and out of my pussy. I milked every inch of his cock. I wrapped my fingers around the rope at her wrist for comfort. The only sounds I could hear was my own sounds of satisfaction and the soft slaps of our skin. All the pleasure I felt from the stranger almost seemed criminal. I felt a warmth surged through my entire body causing me to throw my head back and arch my back up off the bed. I bit my bottom lip, feeling the man continue to thrust as I was orgasming.

Moments passed before the man stopped. He pulled out and rested beside me. His breath was heavy. When he reached up to untie my hands, he moved so quickly, it was like he did it with a single pull.

I slowly lifted my blindfold and turned to see the person beside me. I didn't know what to say, so I just said, "hi."

He turned and gave me a crooked smile. "Hi," he responded with a chuckle.

We introduced ourselves with a handshake. Finn and I spent hours making small talk. We disused our careers, our family, our favorite music. When our time ended, I returned to Tank, and Finn went home to his wife.


	3. Session

Sex with Finn was great, but our conversations felt the most intimate. We could relax and let time fly by. We had plenty of mutual interest, so we felt natural together.

I ran the smaller feather down Finn's chest. "Does your wife know that you're into-" I stopped, unsure of what to call his kink.

He answered with a nod. "She knows about all of this. We love each other, but this isn't something she's into. She likes to be aware of everything around her."

"Am I your only sub?" The second I finished my question, I regretted asking. That was the only thing I felt was off limits; it wasn't my business. "Sorry, but I meant, with your family, work, and students, you must not have a lot of free time," I explained.

Finn agreed. He smiled and admitted that I was his only submissive. He promised that he would find time for me.

At the start of our relationship, time was tight. We met once a week; if we were lucky, twice. We met mostly on the weekends. Finn would request me very late in the evening. I could decline, which I never did, but he wanted an answer soon.

From where I was lying, I could see outside the hotel window. "It's getting late." I stood and began to dress. "Sugar is trying to convince me to take a second dominant. What do you think?"

Sugar thought that I shouldn't be locked to a dominant who was only able to be with me part time. "You're paying. You should use our app to the fullest," she would say, and I agreed a little. "There's plenty of dominants for you." She just had to wait for me to give the green light.

"It's your choice," he replied. "Do what you want, but I don't think you should spread yourself too thin."

I understood exactly what Finn meant. I turned to find Finn still lying in bed. I pointed to the oils and feathers. "Do you need help cleaning up?"

He shook his head and waved. "Good luck at your appointment tomorrow."

* * *

I first agreed to see Dr. Chang to get Tina off my back, but Finn really sold it. He said that my friend was "only helping" and that it would "do some good." He really insisted it.

I sat in the empty waiting room, thankful to be his last patient. I was messaging Sugar regarding my new partner when I heard someone clear their throat for my attention.

Out of all the seats in the room, the man sat beside me. "Do you mind if I skip ahead of you?"

"Um, no," I answered. I leaned away to hide the kink website. "I'm not rushing to see the doctor anyway." I tried to finish my message, but the man wanted to talk.

We didn't talk about a lot. We were on the most basic levels of talking to a stranger. "My name is… How are you today?… Are you from this area?" Surprisingly, we didn't get to the weather.

"Have we met before? You seem so familiar," Mike confessed to keep the conversation alive.

I shrugged and guessed, "I have a common face." I knew that I had never seen him before. I had no reason to cross paths with someone like him.

The slender man looked to be around my age. He was dressed sharp in a suit, but he sent off good vibes. His black hair was smoothly swept with gel. He was pleasant-looking with his clean face.

"Is this your first time at this office?"

"No, but this is my first in a few years. My friend made the appointment because she thinks I'm depressed."

"Are you? What do you think?"

I honestly thought about my answer. "I was… for a while."

"What changed?" He watched as I smirked and shrugged. Mike chuckled. "I get it."

Before we could say anything else, Dr. Chang opened his office door. He led his patient out then turned to us. "Michael," he called, "my office." He preferred to keep his son away from his clients.

Mike smiled. "It was nice meeting you."

"You too." I unlocked my phone and finished my message as I waited alone.

* * *

After a month on the app, I was finally pushing myself to have more than one partner. I nervously ran my hands up and down the side of my coat as I waited outside his door. I didn't know what I was getting: I asked for someone a little different than Finn, but not as crazy as Puck. My heart jumped when the door opened.

It was the guy from the mall; Sam was his name. He grinned at the sight of me. He invited me inside.

I knew he was talking to me, but I was distracted by his looks. "I'm sorry, I couldn't hear you."

"Your coat," he said as he lowly pointed. "Do you want me to take it?" He silently watched me remove my coat. "Wow," he breathed. He was amazed by my lack of clothes. He dropped my coat on the back of the nearest chair, ready to get his hands on me.

I smirked, feeling his warm hands following the curve of my hips. I was eager to feel his lips on mine. I leaned in, but was rejected as Sam moved.

Sam shifted my black hair to one side as he stood behind me. He breath ran down my neck causing me to melt into his chest. "What should we do?" he asked, letting his hands roam over me. "Tell me what you want." He began to peck softly at my neck.

It was nearly impossible to fight all the thoughts in my mind. "I-I want to please you."

"Really?"

"I'm yours." I felt safe and ready for what would come next. My head spun as I felt his hand snake between my thighs.

"Can I touch you here?" Sam grazed my clit through my panties. After a moment of silence, he whispered into my ear, "Tell me."

I couldn't form the words, but I nodded as approval.

He continued to rub between my labia slowly and carefully at first and then pressing more firmly. He was silent as he listened to my smothered moans. As his hands motioned between my thighs, he kissed at my ear. His fingers spread over the fabric of my panties, feeling the spot in my crotch. "You're wet already," he chuckled lowly. He ran his hands over my hips before taking my hand. "Let's go to my room." He smoothly snatched a condom off the dresser as we entered his bedroom.

I followed in a pleasant dazed. After being sat on the bed, I kicked my heels off and scooted backwards. I watched Sam crawl to me and I closed my eyes as his forehead touched mine. I didn't want to miss the opportunity, so rested my hand on his pale cheeks and pulled him into a kiss. My hands strayed from his cheeks to his bare chest then to his model abs. I wanted to go lower, but I froze when Sam broke our fevered kiss.

His lips were only an inch away from mine. "What do you want me to do?"

I looked into his eyes; the same green eyes that hypnotized me weeks before. "I want you. I want you inside of me."

Sam shook his head. "No, tell me what you want." He teasingly pecked my lip.

I didn't know what made Sam so desirable. I wanted a stranger. The guy that I had only seen once before filled me with more lust than anyone I've ever met.

At first, I felt too shy to say it, but it was the only way I was going to get what I wanted. I silently wished there was a softer way to say "Fuck me." Once I said it out loud and watched his lips curl in acceptance, I felt powerful. I felt like a different woman. "I want you to fuck me. I want your cock to fill me." I unbuckled his pants. "Will you do that?" I bit my lip and squeezed his bulge.

"Whatever you want," he promised, slid his hands up the outside of my thighs. Curling his fingers under the band of my panties, he began to roll them down. He dropped them off to the side.

I took the condom from him and lowered his pants. I moaned with desire for his erect member. I tried to hold in my emotions as I opened the package. I rested the condom on the head of his penis before carefully sliding it down his shaft.

He returned for a kiss with his tongue intruding my mouth and dancing with my own tongue. Sam rubbed his body against mine for a moment before slowly entering me.

I tilted my hips and arched my back, inviting Sam to go deeper. "Fuck," I cursed when he began to thrust. My pussy gradually tightened as I wrapped my arms around the blonde.

Sam kissed my neck. His hips rocked forward and back. "Your pussy is so tight," he breathed after he'd settled into a rhythm. His eyes moving over my face, down over my breasts which jumped each time he thrust forward. Several minutes passed before Sam spoke again. "I want you to cum for me." His thrusts gradually grew quicker, more forceful.

"I'm so close," I gasped. My whole body felt hot and achy with a longing to release the building tension. My body began to shudder. I drove my pussy as hard as I could into Sam as the orgasm shook through my entire being. "I'm cumming."

He buried himself one last time and I felt him tremble. He tightened his grip on me, pulling me towards him. He ran his hands over my back as he pressed hot kisses all over my face.

I held onto him, my fingers linked behind his back. I closed my eyes, savoring the sensation of having him inside me- of feeling satisfied. I reluctantly released him to dispose of the condom, but I wasn't alone for too long.

Sam quickly kissed my lips as he crawled back onto the bed. He positioned us so my back rested against his chest. He wrapped his arms around me and held me close. He was silent for so long that I thought he was asleep.

I felt comfortable and wanted stayed with him for hours, but I couldn't. I slowly freed myself before learning that my partner was awake. "I have to get home before my boyfriend," I nervously admitted. As I scooped my underwear off the floor, I realized that I overshared. "You probably don't want to know that. I- I'm sorry."

He stood and stopped me in front of him. "Nothing to be sorry for. Do you do that a lot?" Sam asked, earning a confused look. "Apologizing? I want you to stop it. Don't be sorry for anything… ever. You said what you meant." He gave a last passionate kiss. "You have a boyfriend to get home to."

* * *

My fingers slid across the piano keys. I was easily lost in the music. I sloppily wrote a note on a sheet of paper in front of me then returned to the keys.

Another suggestion from Finn was that I should explore my music. Unlike his opinion with the doctor, I started my music without confrontation. I wasn't sure what I would do with the music, but was eager to create.

Tank smiled at me from the bottom step of his basement studio. "Are you coming to bed?"

"Not right now," I answered, struggling with the verse of my song.

He sat beside me on the bench. He took my hand, stopping me from playing another note. "I like to see you happy," he admitted, receiving a tired smile. "I, um, think we should be abstinent."

"What?" I asked.

Tank and I were both virgins when we began dating. When we had sex for the first time, we were together for years and had plenty of trust in one another. I felt like Tank was coming out of nowhere with his idea to revert back to our life of purity.

"I spent a lot of time thinking and praying about this. I feel we shouldn't have sex again until we're married. It'll be great for the both of us. We'd work on our relationship with God, and we could put more time into our music. We should focus on each other. We use to talk all night, remember? Now, we can barely get a word in before I have to go." He tried to make eye contact, but I looked away. "I love you, Mercedes, and I really think this is best for us."

I nodded, agreeing to be dragged along with a plan I didn't want. I pulled my hand from Tank. All I said was, "I want to finish this song before bed. Don't wait up." I didn't respond when my boyfriend pecked my cheek before leaving me alone.


	4. Defy

I followed Tank into our bedroom. "I know you wanted that award, but there's nothing wrong with losing," I reminded. I stopped in front of the mirror and waited for Tank to undo the zipper in the back of my dress. I held my breath as he stepped behind me. My mind quickly painted a scenario that would have never happen in reality.

He did as expected then took his suit coat off. "Use this loss as motivation. There's always next year," Tank mumbled, sitting on the end of the bed.

I let my dress fall into a pile around my feet. "I'm proud of you." I moved in front of him and hooked my thumb under his wide chin. I demanded his attention. I straddled his lap and my hands rested on his cheeks. "I want to show you how proud I am." I tilted forward until our lips met.

It had been two months since I became abstinent. I gave up sex with my boyfriend and my dominants. I deleted the app, hoping to stop temptations, but it didn't. Again, my life became dull, but I didn't fall back into my old sad attitude. The absence of sex made me yearn for it, and I started to plot how to get it from Tank.

The night of his award show was the first time I attempted to seduce him. I decided slow and steady was the most powerful. I wanted to appeal to the want that he hid.

I felt vindicated when I felt his gentle hands rubbing my sides and lower back. I slowly unbuttoned his shirt, careful not to disturb him. My fingers trailed over his exposed chest. I pushed Tank to relax on his back. I began to kiss at his neck. I repeatedly passed over the sensitive area under his ear.

It only took one moan to bring Tank back to his senses. "Mercedes, stop." He pushed me to the side. He hopped off the bed.

When I noticed the hurt on his face, I felt bad for pushing him. "I sorry. Please don't be upset," I asked to calm him down. I lost interest in him when he started lecturing me on balance and discipline. _When would we be able to have sex?_ I asked myself. _Just assume he would be cheesy and propose on our anniversary, which is four mouth away. There would be six months of wedding planning and counseling. All that time plus the months that have passed means that I wouldn't have had sex for an entire year. I'm not waiting that long._ I reached out for Tanks hand and drew him closer. "I wasn't thinking, and I got carried away." I began to wipe my lipstick from his lips as I waited for acceptance.

"It's fine," he said, pulling away. "Let's just get ready for bed." He left for a shower.

I growled in frustration. I rolled to my side of the bed and grabbed my book.

Over those months, I burned through erotic novels. I was finishing them before the end of the week. I had built a collection of them, but always carried the black business card in what book I was reading.

* * *

I stood at the desk of the little brunette. "Hi, Sugar," I sung.

Sugar put down her pink rhinestone stapler and greeted me. She pointed to the flowers in my arm. "What are-"

"They're pink and made me think of you." I passed her the flowers and sat across from her. "I need a big favor."

She sniffed the flowers before looking at me skeptically. "What is it?"

"I need you to reactivate my account, push me though approval, reconnect me with my old partners, and set me up with someone for tonight," I demanded, leaving the girl speechless. "I have so much faith in you. I believe that you can do it."

"I will open your account," Sugar agreed, "but I can't make the headmaster approve you faster."

All my demands were met in a few hours. I accepted the first match thrown my way.

* * *

Puck was exactly what I needed. The was nothing passionate about what he did. Nothing tender. I wanted sex that was rough and quick. Puck was sure to deliver.

He was quiet as he tapped at my phone. He stopped after opening his profile. He passed the phone back to me. "Read all of it," he ordered. He sat on a stool and watched me read though his rules. When I looked up, he asked, "Finished?"

"Yes, sir," I replied before Puck took my phone. I didn't test him by turning when he disappeared behind me.

"What did I want you to find?"

When I read it, I knew what he wanted. "The safe word. It was cinnamon." I held out my shaky hands, waiting for him to return. While he worked on the buckles of the cuffs, I asked, "Why would you pick that word." I doubted if he would've answered, but he did.

"Just a word," he mumbled. He let my hands fall to my side then walked behind me. "I want to be clear about why we're both here." Puck drove his fingers through my hair. "You're here to obey me, follow my directions exactly and immediately. I keep you focus on doing exactly that. If you want something, what do you do?" He quizzed.

I nervously answered, "I ask." I huffed, feeling him tug my hair. My heart began to race.

"No, Mercedes, you beg. I will give you permission before you do anything." He freed me from his grip to nod. "Now we can start. We're going to do the same thing as the first time, but we'll get a different ending, right?" He raised my arms and locked the cuffs over my head.

I had a different mindset and was better prepared the second time around. I loosened up as Puck trailed the end of his flogger over my skin, but I didn't fully let my guard down because I knew the first strike was only seconds away.

The first smack was always the roughest; I could never properly brace myself for the strength in it. The introduction was firm but not hard. All the rest had more of an edge, warming up my skin from the repeated strokes.

The flogger had a rhythmic swish as the tips nipped at my back side before sliding.

Puck listened to me hiss and groan. "What do you think?" He dropped the tails of the flogger over my exposed back, stalling the next spank.

My breathing was heavy and measured. I was hurting, but I wanted more- I craved more. "It feels good. Please don't stop, sir," I huffed. My toes flexed and curled in response to the sting as Puck began again. Later when Puck freed me, I wiped my tears; it was a natural reaction to pain. My back hit the wall with a thud. I smirked up at Puck before attacking his lips.

His kiss was strong and wild. His tongue forced past my lips like a bulldozer. His hands move confidently over my back, my hips, my thighs, and when they found my ass, they squeezed and pulled me to him.

I managed to remove my panties without stepping away, but Puck broke the kiss, ripping my bra over my head. I moaned when my large breasts were cupped by his powerful hands. I enjoyed breast play, but I wanted different. I didn't have to ask.

His hand moved to my thigh before he lifted and separated it from the other. He tried to get his whole cock in with one thrust, but he was so close.

I whined out as his luscious cock thrust in and out of me. The sting from my fresh marks added to my satisfaction. I was on cloud nine when I begged, "Please, please, please. I need you to go faster." I threw my head back as he met my request. After a while, I wanted more.

When I had begged for him to drive harder, he broke away. He roughly turned me. He directed my hands against the wall and then reclaimed me from behind.

That position was perfect. The whole experience felt too good to be true.

"Ohh, I'm going to cum. Can I- Can I," I stuttered.

"Not yet," he denied, changing his tempo. There was sweat on his forehead, and the muscles in his neck were tensed.

I tried to obey, but I was already on the brink of my orgasm. I let my hand fall between my thighs. I massaged my clit and thrusted back to Puck.

He snatched my hand from under me. "No." He trapped my hand between his and the wall, only to have me return the moment his hold weakened.

Denial and edging was a part of my submission. I submitted over and over again. I was brought to the gates of heaven, then dragged away. I was too full of want to continue Puck's game.

When the fire between us cooled, Puck turned me. He pinned my shoulders against the wall. He loomed over me as he questioned, "Did you cum without permission?"

I slowly nodded. "Yes, sir."

"I'll let it go… this time. If it happens again, I'll punish you."

I knew my itch was only temporarily cured. I was sure that I could have waited at least a month before I had to give in to my fancy. I didn't have to wait that long.


	5. Taste

Over time, I built my relationship with Mike to copy the one that I had to abandon with Finn minus the sex. He was the only enjoyable thing about going to Dr. Chang's office every two weeks. I would set my appointment in the Doctor's final hours to see his son.

Mike and I were casually talking when a question crossed my mind. "Why do you have to make appointments to see your father?"

"I meet with my father once a week because he doesn't hound me enough during our biweekly family dinner." He smiled, enjoying the fact that his father didn't like his life choices. "I got a PhD in psychology because of him, but now he's unhappy. He wanted me to work in the office and take over his practice when he retires. I-" He was interrupted by my cell phone ringing.

I apologized and rushed to find my phone. My bag escaped my lap, causing me to gasp when my things spilled out. I slid out of my chair to collect my things.

Mike only picked up one thing: my book. From the title, he had a solid idea of what was behind the cover. "Why would you read this?" He laughed when I snatched the book from him and hid it. "I didn't think you were someone that would read those books. It's just smut. They have no plot, no character development, no lesson to learn."

"I think they're great," I argued, standing. "They've changed my life and helped me more than your father."

Mike put his hands up. "Okay," he laughed.

Dr. Chang opened his office door and first noticed me standing in the center of the room. "Mercedes," he called. He waited until I was sat in the chair to ask, "What were you two talking about?"

I was a little confused to how to respond; that was the first time he ever asked me a question. I hesitated. "Nothing," I replied with a shrug. Like usual, I watched the world play on through the window as the doctor talked. I was listening to him with only half an ear, but he grabbed my full attention when he said the 'M'-word. "What?"

"You've never mentioned your mother in any our sessions."

"You never asked."

He lifted his pad, read to write his note. "Tell me about her."

"She's dead, and that's all to tell," I announced. "Talk about something else." I close my hands in my lap and turned back to the window. I sat for a little longer then became antsy. I knew I had fifteen minutes left with Dr. Chang, but I stood and demanded, "Can we end this session? I don't want to be here anymore." I took my bag and left before the doctor answered.

* * *

Tank vowed to dedicate one night a week to focus on me. He normally pushed date night towards the end of the week. It was our time to talk and rebuild our relationship. For a few hours, we were supposed to be each other's number one.

Our dates helped me remember why I cared about Tank. He was intelligent. He was honest and respectful. When he had the time, he was supportive. He was full of cheap jokes that we both knew weren't funny, but we laughed at each other.

I let my smile completely fade before looking up to meet his brown eyes. "I know we aren't supposed to talk about our music, but I-"

"I can't talk about my music," he corrected. "I want to hear about yours. Tell me how it's going." He placed his open hand in the center of the table.

I grinned and rested my hand in his. "I sent a few of my-" Before I could say what was on my mind, I noticed a woman sashaying towards our table.

"Tank." She beamed when he looked at her.

"Hey," Tank greeted. He stood up and quickly hugged the woman. "This is my girlfriend, Mercedes." He moved aside so the stranger could shake my hand. He introduced the woman by her name, but I don't remember. He explained that she was featured in a few of his music videos.

"I'm with a group, but I would love to have you join us." She pointed to the long table surrounded by models.

"Nah," Tank declined. "Your table is full, and we're having a-"

"Aww, come on. Adding two is no problem." She lead us to the table and ordered us to sit.

It wasn't long before me and the blond noticed each other. We were at different ends of the table. Sam and I tried to engage with the people closer, but we'd repeatedly look away and lock eyes. The tension between us was thick.

Tank noticed me looking off and thought I was lost in space. He rested his hand in mine to gain my attention. "We can go if you want."

I shook my hand. I looked past Tank to see Sam talking to his friends. "Excuse me." I hastily grabbed my clutch and went to the powder room. I had to be alone for a minute. I took deep breaths to calm the butterflies. My nerves bundled back up when I opened the door and saw Sam.

He was originally going to the men's room, but stopped in front of me. Sam greet me with a smile. "You look beautiful tonight," he complimented. He was silent for a moment then he said, "I missed you"

Really? After one hook up, he missed me?

He nodded. "Not trying to be weird, but I think about you." Sure that we were alone, he stepped closer. "I miss your lips. I miss feeling your soft skin. I remember the way you smiled when I first touched you. I hear your little moans when I lie in bed."

I was sure that he had used that speak plenty of times, yet that didn't make me immune to it.

His arms wrapped around my frame and held me close. "Was that the boyfriend?" He caught the skin of my neck between his lips. "Does he please you?"

I pulled Sam into the room. I locked the door behind me then drew the tempting model to my lips. "No, he doesn't. You do," I whispered with my lips hovering his. "I want you to please me now."

Sam relished the idea before coming to a realization. He stepped out of our kiss. "I don't have a condom."

Air ran through my nostrils, creating a short huff. "Okay." I felt there was no reason for us to be together then, so I was going to go back to the table.

Sam stopped me before I could leave. "I can still make you happy. I can make you feel good, I promise." His lips returned to my neck. Like our first time together, he began to massage me though the seat of my panties.

He spun me to look in the mirror. "I want you to see how beautiful you are."

I was forced to notice my face. It showed a mix of emotions that I couldn't name, but he could tell that I was satisfied. I saw the lust in my eyes. I noticed how my full lips rounded to let out my moans. I watched my breasts heaved as I boiled from Sam's talented fingers.

He unzipped my dress and pinched at the end. "Let's get this out of our way." He lifted my dress over my head and laid it on the counter. "Look at me," he ordered, and I followed by turning. He led me backwards until my waist hit the sink counter. He worked his way downward with his kisses, and like my underwear, Sam sunk to the floor. He placed a soft kiss on my labia and felt me jolt. He started planting chaste little kisses. He hold eye contact as his tongue left his mouth and gave my clit a slow, torturous lick.

I stiffened and gripped the counter behind me. "Sam," I whispered. Cunnilingus in a bathroom of a restaurant full of people was the most exciting thing I'd ever done. My mouth watered as I watched Sam's moist tongue ran up and down my slit. "Oh, don't stop," I requested. "Please don't stop, Sam."

He rotated between kissing, licking, and sucking. Sam couldn't help but feel proud of his effect on me. He was powered by my moans and whimpers. He didn't stop until he was sure that I had orgasmed. He stood with a twinkle in his eye.

I began to freshen up and redress. I was removing my smeared lipstick when Sam asked for a favor.

"Ms. Jones, your mission, should you choose to accept it, involves patience and steady hands," he joked. He reached into his pocket and removed his set of keys. "I need a house sitter for the next few weeks. All you have to do is get the mail and water a few plants. I'd pay you fairly." He was asking a girl he just gave oral to watch after his appointment. He knew it was a little weird. "You can say no."

 _Not like you have anything else to do, Mercedes_ , I thought to myself. "I'll do it." I reached for the keys, but Sam dropped his hand.

"You're not one of those pretty but crazy types, are you?" he laughed. "I don't have to worry about you bleaching my clothes or stabbed my furniture with my kitchen knives, right?

"That is the craziest thing that I have ever heard." I joined him in laughter. I take the key by their ring. "Your things are safe with me. Shouldn't I have your number… in case of an emergency."

We had already broken one rule: Don't meet without setting it up through the app. What could one more hurt? It was just business.

After Sam took my number, he smiled down at me. "It's amazing how much more beautiful you look without makeup." He pecked my lips.

We left the little room when we looked presentable. One took their seat, and the other did the same only seconds later. After our needs were met, we gave each other fewer looks.

"What do you want to do?" Tank asked.

I looked up with confusion. I admitted that I wasn't listening. My meal had more of my attention than anything Tank and the woman talked about.

"Clubbing," she repeated. "Some of us won't be back home until the middle of the season. We're all parading through town before we leave tomorrow. I invited you to come club-hopping with us. Tank's in. Are you?"

"I'm not really interested. I'm sure Tank will have more fun if I'm not there." I looked at him beside me. "Go and have a good time."

At the end of the meal, Tank stood and pecked my cheek. "I won't be out late," he promised.

I fell asleep alone in front of the TV. I wasn't waiting up for Tank, but I stayed awake until 2 AM. I wasn't sure of what time Tank got home, but he was in our bed when I woke the next morning.

* * *

 **AN:** **I had't written an author note because I didn't know what to say. I planned this story out recently, and this seems to be the halfway mark. I just want to say thanks for reading. Let me know what you think so far.**


	6. Torment

I posed as I waited for Puck. I was nervous of what he would have said about my progress. The decision I had made was very bold, but I thought it was best for both Puck and I. I raised my chin as my dominant stopped in front of me. I slowly opened my coat and let it drape off my shoulders. I waited for a comment, but I felt like it was never coming. "I thought this would make things easier for you, sir."

He smirk before taking my coat.

I was completely naked. Having his approval, all the fear in my body flushed. I peeked over my shoulder and studied all of Puck's paddles, gags, and other gear. I quickly turned forward, not wanting to be caught breaking another of his rules. I followed his orders by placing my hands behind my back.

"Because you can't keep your hands where I tell you to..."

After binding, I could feel the tails of his flogger rubbing against me. "Why do you always use the flogger?"

Puck dragged the tails over my shoulder as he passed in front of me. "It's my favorite," he admitted. "Most of the others are used for punishment. I could still punish you for cumming without permission. Do I need to?"

"No, sir."

He nodded at my answer. "You ask a lot of quotations for a submissive." He circling back behind me.

"I've only ever asked you two quest-" I yelped feeling a strike on my thighs. I slouched. My fingers tucked into a fist.

Puck didn't appreciate my backtalk. "Present yourself," he ordered.

I returned to my straight posture. I clenched my teeth, readying myself for more hits. I tried to stand tall and to be still, but my knees keep giving into the strikes. I couldn't stop my reaction, no matter how hard I tried.

His fingers curled around my arm. "Is starting a problem?" Before I could respond, he pulled me from my spot to his bondage table. He moved behind me, pressing my thighs against the padded top. He scratched along my stomach then one of his hands cupped my breast and twiddled my nipple. The other swaddled my short neck to pull me closer to him. He pinched my skin with his teeth causing me to moan.

I leaned forward as Puck kissed down my back. My face rested against the pad. My breasts were crushed between the surface and my weight. I watched him pick up the flogger from the table, and I widened my legs. I moved my hands up to protect them. I sprung forward when he began again. I held my balance with the help of the table.

Puck swooped the whip, forming figure eights. He finished with his kink and walked away. On the other side of the room, he slid on his condom. He watched as my hips wagged, ready to accept him. He returned and rested his hand on my bruised ass. "Are you wet?"

"Yes, sir." I grinded against him. "I'm wet for you."

He ordered me to be still. Puck rested his cock at my entrance. He was tormenting me and liked the way I squirmed.

I don't know what made me so weak. Was it because I like being vulnerable? Maybe it was that I enjoy the idea of being bent over and taken from the back. I was willing to say anything to get what I needed from Puck. I was going to say the most dirtiest things I've ever said… even to this day.

"Do whatever you want with me, but don't tease me, please," I asked, fighting my urge to thrust back into him. "I want your cock to fill my pussy like no one else can. Please, please don't be gentle."

Puck patiently listened to me beg before fulfilling my requests.

"Oh yes!" I loved his brutal force. "Pound my tight pussy. Stretch me with your big cock."

He leaned over me. "You've being bad," he whispered.

"Yes, I am," I moaned. "I'm your bad sub that likes to be used." After several minutes of delicious strokes and dirty talk, a familiar energy begin to surge from my toes straight up my spine. I heard my phone ringing in the corner, but I was too into the moment to care.

Puck seemed like he could have went forever. He grunted and put all his power into his thrusts. He pulled my hair. He fingers squeezed at my skin before slapping it. He wanted to hear me beg him, and I did.

I plead over the beeping. I buried my face to muffle my whines as I climaxed. I lost the support of Puck and slid to the floor. I was reduced to a quivering mess at his feet. "Thank you," I puffed. When my legs no longer felt like jello under me, I stood to be freed and collected my things.

4 missed calls from Tina

My figures combed through my hair as I called her back. I looked over my shoulder and saw that Puck was not interested in the slightest.

"Mercedes, you called me a hundred times this morning," Tina exaggerated. "I finally get a chance to call you back, and you didn't answer."

"I was a little tied up." I put on my coat and began to leave the studio space.

"What do you need?"

I could hear music from her side of the call. "Have you started your class already." I was too excited to let her answer. "I need my best friend to come with me to N.D. Records. I sent them my demo, and they want to meet me."

Tina cheered, "That's great! Does Tank know?"

"I was going to tell him Friday, but we were interrupted. I can tell you about it later, but I need you to free your schedule for noon tomorrow. Tina, I want you there."

She breathed deeply into the phone. "Okay, I'll be there. I will push my tap lesson back an hour."

"Thank you," I smiled. "I will send you the address later. Get back to your class. Bye."

* * *

After a shower and changing into proper clothes, I was ready for my first day as a house-sitter. I was watering the plants when my phone rang.

"Hey," Sam greeted. "I was just checking on you. How's it going?"

"Everything's fine. You had no mail," I responded. "I didn't realize that you had so many plants." I really didn't see anything in the apartment before that day.

"I tried kept you focused on us."

"You did." I smiled remembering our first time together. As I was moving between pots, my elbow bumped a vase on the end of the table. I flinched when it shattered on the floor. I tossed the phone in the new empty spot and crouched to clean. "I dropped your vase. I'm so sor-"

"What was that?"

I knew what he meant: I was about to apologize. I didn't realize that I wasn't following his only rule. I had honestly forgotten it. I had probably said sorry hundreds of times since he told me not to two months prior.

"I dropped your vase. I will pay for a replacement."

"Don't worry about it. What vase was it?"

I looked at the pieces in my hand. "The blue one on the table beside the bedroom door."

"Really?" he asked, between laughs. "Thank you. I hated that vase. My friend gave it to me as a 'Fuck You' gift after I stole a commercial from her. I've tried to break it myself, and I haven't been so lucky." Sam continued to talk to me until he was called. "I will let you get back to your work."

"Well, I won't be long."

"No, no, take your time. I'm not worried about you being there."

After I finished, I rested on his coach. I couldn't find a reason to leave early. I didn't want to go home. I sat and stared at Sam's painted walls. I was alone with my thoughts.

I never got to live alone. I left home for college, where I had a roommate. After that, I moved in with the very established Tank. I felt like there were things that could only be learned from living single in a tiny apartment. I missed out on whatever those lessons were.

* * *

I stood in front of the floor window of the office. I had to look down to see the road in front of the music company's building. I'd occasionally stop swaying to check my phone. After thirty minutes of waiting, I turned to the guy at the table. I cut into his and Tina's conversation by calling, "Mr. Abrams, what are we waiting for?"

"You could just call me Artie," he corrected. "We prefer to have more than one representative present when talking to an artist."

I sat beside Tina. "I prefer not to wait this long."

"Mercedes, stop," Tina scorned. "We're fine waiting."

"I'm sure you have other plans, so we can start," Artie said. He wasted minutes, talking in circles. He wasn't saying anything useful to me.

"Can you get to a point?" I asked.

He took a deep breath. "Mercedes, your music is great, but it's not our sound. New Direction isn't the label for you."

"What?" I asked in disbelief. "How?"

"You music is soul and a little pop-ish. We usually don't sign those-"

"Your label is called New Direction Records. Go in a new direction."

My friend reached for my hand. "Don't get upset."

"I'm not upset Tina," I lied, eyeing the brown haired man in front of me. I debated, but I wasn't going to riot like Tina thought. I took a deep breath and stood. "Thank you for listening to my music, Mr. Abrams. Tina, let's go." I stopped when the office door slammed open.

"I finally get ten minutes away from these whiny ass artists, but I can't think cause you keep calling me about a meeting. What?" Puck stormed. His demeanor softened when he noticed me. He flashed his devilish smile.

I rolled my eyes and pushed past him. I didn't have to turn to know that Tina wasn't behind me. "Tina, lets go!" I ordered.

Tina apologized to the men before chasing after me. She caught me in the elevator. She didn't say a word until we were outside of the building. "I could clear my schedule and make today a M&T day. It would be just me and you."

"No, teach your class. I'm going to get some coffee and go home," I said, but I already had my mind made for what I was going to do.

* * *

I repeatedly adjusted my mask as I sat in the center of the bed. I felt anxious as time passed. I was alone for too long. I tried to hold everything in, but I was thankful that the blindfold covered the tears that escaped my eyes.

Finn could hear me sniff from the other side of the room. He joined me on the bed. Instead of tying my hand, he just held it. "Are you okay?" He slid the cover to sit on my forehead.

I quickly pulled my hand away from Finn and covered my face. I didn't cry in front of people, and I didn't want Finn to be the exception. I didn't want him to see me and think that I was weak. I melted when he embraced me. I moved my hands to hug him closer. I rested my head on his shoulder, and we sat still for awhile.

"Don't be ashamed to cry." He continued to hold me in his arms. "Talk to me. Don't hold it all inside." He listened to me recap my day. Finn was level headed as he talked me through my dark hour. "If it bothers you that bad, maybe you should go back and get more reason."

I agreed. I needed to talk to someone, but it wasn't going to be Artie. Too bad I had to wait three days for Puck to be free.


	7. Brat

At first, I tried to be nice and patient when explaining the situation to Puck. I said everything that weighed heavy on me since the meeting. I put a lot of thought into what I was saying, and he wasn't even listening. When I was tired of talking to his back, I asked, "Can you at least face me?"

Puck stopped meddling with his BDSM gadgets. He turned and crossed his arms. He looked down on me as I spoke. "I didn't leave my office to talk about this in my space.

"I know your position is high at N.D., so I thought that you would give me a better reason. What did you think of the songs?"

"I didn't hear them? What did Artie say?" He slowly nodded as I reported what was said. "Then it's not our sound." Again, he turned his back towards me.

"Well, what is your sound?"

"Rock," Puck answered over his shoulder, "and we rarely go outside of it."

"It's not going to break you to try to work with a R&B artist. He said that they were good. If my music was good, then it deserves a chance."

"That chance was that it was listened to."

I felt that he was purposely brushing me off. His domination had extended to my personal life. Maybe he enjoyed having more power over me, but I didn't.

"It's just business," he told me.

I could have left then, but I stuck around, hearing Puck mumbling under his breath. I couldn't make out every word he said, but one sentence stood out to me. "I'm not being a brat," I argued.

He turned to look me in the eyes. "Yes, you are. You're the type of girl that is used to everyone giving her wherever she wants. When someone tells you no, you can't stop complaining. I knew that was you when you came back after you left months ago."

"If you think that, then why did you have sex with me?"

"Next to the broken girls with daddy issues, they submit the best. They're trying to prove something to themselves, so they'll do anything that they think is edgy," Puck explained.

We both knew that the relationship between us was over with. Neither of us were just going to walk away. We were going to say whatever to hurt the other. We each had to leave with emotional scars from the words.

"What you do isn't edgy. You tie and abuse woman to get hard. That's sick."

Puck regaining the upper hand by reminding, "You didn't think that when you were enjoying it."

"I put up with you for the fuck."

"Okay," he scoffed. He waited for me to respond before deciding that the rack on the other side of the room was more interesting. As he passed in front of me, he ordered, "Get out."

The door to the studio closed with a bang.

* * *

I was frustrated and I wanted Tank to relieve me. I did a lot of work to ready myself for what I wanted. I did my hair and makeup. I dressed up nice. I smelled of his favorite perfume. It was obvious that I wanted sex and there was no way I could deny that I didn't know what I was doing.

I climbed across the covers and over him. I used the same method as weeks before, careful not to alert him. I kissed his lips then his neck. I moved to nibble on his ear as I reached to undo the string of his pajama pants.

"Mercedes, stop," Tank requested. He wasn't amused by me at all. "Stop. What's wrong with you?" He threw me to the side with a force that surprised both of us.

I straightened. "Well, I'm sorry for trying to make love to my boyfriend," I sarcastically apologize.

"If you really loved me, you'd stop trying to tempt me. I love you and I wholeheartedly intend to marry you, but until that day, no sex." He snatched his cellphone off it's charger as he left the bed. He explained that he was going to sleep in another room.

I was only alone for a second when an idea came to me. "Are you cheating on me?" I felt that was a reasonable question.

Tank quickly returned. He stood in the hall like the door frame was a force field that separated us. "What?"

I had read an article about cheaters. Men and women display different signs when they're having an affair. A woman could cheat, but still have enough energy to push through her day. Men don't have the same drive. Men would have a tight grip on their phone, but women don't have the same paranoia. One of the few similarities that they shared, according to the story, they use work as an excuse to get away.

I didn't believe the article when I first read it years before. As time passed, I started to notice Tank was showing the signs. I put it up to my young and insecure mind. I didn't think about it until it was needed.

"Are you. Cheating. On me?" I articulated. "Is your pledge to be abstinent just a cover. You're not having sex with me because you're having it with someone else, right?"

"I just said that I wanted to marry you one day."

"Yes or no, Tank?"

"No," he answered. "You have never been so wrong, Mercedes. I'm not having sex because I made a promise to God, and I intend to keep it."

I couldn't let go of my feelings. I had enough energy to argue for hours. I kept bringing up topics to keep things going.

Our first fight lasted thirty-seven minutes. After awhile, we both stop making sense. We went back and forth. Neither of us left our original spot. We both would admit that we looked crazy.

Tank was ready to end it all. "I don't know why you're acting like this, if it's the full moon, or your time of the month," he said, "but go to sleep." He stomped off down the hall.

I lied in bed. I could feel every minute of every hour pass as I stared up at the same cracks in the ceiling. I couldn't figure out if they had spread or if it was a trick of the light. I ignored my phone the first time it rang, but when the caller called a second time, I answered. I huffed into the phone before responding, "Yes, Sam?"

"How are you?"

"I'm tired. It's late." My bad attitude stuck around long after Tank was gone. "I don't know where you are, but in LA, it's one in the morning."

"I know. I'm in Las Vegas." Sam took a few minutes to talk, joke, and chip away at my edges. "Where's your boyfriend?"

"We had a fight, so he's sleeping in a separate room." I vented, but I didn't tell Sam every detail of our fight. I wanted him on my side.

"It would be hard to not have sex with you. You're too tempting." He rolled in his hotel bed. "So, what are you wearing?"

That was the most stereotypical phone sex starter.

I giggled. "Sam, I'm not doing this."

"You know how I get when I think about you," he admitted. "I've been thinking about you all day. I'm rock hard."

I look at the opened door and warned, "Tank might hear." My biggest concern wasn't even Tank. "I wouldn't know what to do. I have never done this before."

"Just touch yourself," he instructed. His breaths became deep. "Have you ever touched yourself before?"

I closed my eyes, my feet spread, and my head sunk deeper into my pillow. I traced the lace of my panties with my fingers, tempted to pass. "Uh-huh," I replied. I began to trail my finger up and down my covered vulva. I was trying to be quiet, but I sounded more seductive. "But I prefer you… Your hands, your mouth, your big cock."

He made a sound that was a mix between a chuckle and a groan. "You really know what to say, don't you? I thought this was your first time doing this."

"I'm just being honest." I loved hearing Sam's husky voice. I bit my bottom lip as the image of Sam stroking his cock took over my mind. I continued to rub my crotch and listen to the breathing on the other side of the phone until my need was too strong. Pressing up with my feet, I slid my panties off. I lie with my legs splay out in a natural position and allow my hands full access. "I wish we were together," I whispered as my finger slid over my clit to the entrance of my vagina and back.

"Oh, if I had you in my bed," he moaned, "I would never let you go. I'd kiss every inch of your body. You wouldn't be able to walk straight when we're done fucking. I promise to make you feel like the goddess that you are." He grunted as he squeezed at his aching cock. "I want to hear you screaming my name until your voice gives out."

I slid a finger into my sopping pussy and then another. As my fingers moved within me, I repeatedly whispered Sam's name . "You make me so hot, Sam." After five minutes of listening to my partner, I felt my orgasm peeking. I dropped my phone beside my ear, and my body tensed and stretched. I climaxed, then Sam followed close behind. I enjoyed my high. When I calmed, I realized Sam was talking.

"I want you to come, Mercedes."

I was confused by what I heard; we both came. I scoop the phone back up. "What?"

"I'm leaving for Paris in a few hours. I'll be there for a few days," he explained. "If I bought you a ticket, would you like to come?"

"What about your plants? They need to be watered."

"Everything will be fine. Forget it."

"Forget it?" I harshly repeated. "Would you say that if it was an animal… or a kid?"

 _A guy is offering you a trip to Paris, and you're picking a fight about plants,_ a voice in my head cursed. _You could be in one of the world's most beautiful cities. Fuck that fern._

"No," Sam softly laughed. "I meant that I'd send them to someone. I'd handle it, and you could start packing."

I knew my answer, but I didn't want to answer too quick. "Um, can I have a little time to think about it?"

"Sure." He let out a long exhale, and I wasn't sure if it meant that he regretted asking or getting tired. "Well, beautiful, I'm sure that you want to get to sleep. Sleep tight."

"Goodnight."

* * *

Tank and I didn't talk about our fight the next morning- we didn't talk about our fight ever. We gave the other space by ignoring each other. We didn't talk unless we felt it was needed.

I nibbled at my lunch as I read through my book. I peeked up when Tank entered the kitchen and stopped in front of our maid. I silently watched their exchange.

"Can you make up the bed in the second guest room for my mom?"

She was on her knees, cleaning the oven. She looked up at her boss and replied, "Yes, sir."

After he thanked her, I spoke up. "You never told me that she was coming."

I had a difficult time building relationships with almost every mother I crossed paths with. I hated my mother. My college roommate's mother though I was very unfriendly by leaving the two alone for their time together. Tank's mother was the type that hated anyone that could take her son's mind off of his music or her. The only mother I bonded with was Tina's: I thought so highly of her.

"I'm sure that I told you a few times," he disagreed. "I'm picking her up tonight, but I'm going to the studio for now."

I called to the help. "Don't worry about that third room. I'm not staying this week."

"Where are you going?"

"I'm sure that I told you," I sarcastically said, earning a scowl from Tank. "My dad is sick, and I'm leaving to take care of him. I'm staying with Tina until I leave tomorrow morning."

"Okay," Tank nodded. "I'm going to finish recording my song."

* * *

I knew I had a small window of opportunity after the maids and gardeners left and before Tank returned. I requested Finn to meet me after he finished his work at the school. If he was willing to come to me, then I was going to give him everything Tank turned down. I was in control. I felt the erotic power that I had come to love.

I explored the approved areas of Finn. I kissed his cheek, ear, neck, shoulder, and collarbone. I was working towards my desired goal. I slid out of his lap as I continued to trail down. I let my fingers guide me over his smooth skin. I hooked my fingers under the band of his boxers and was quickly stopped. I gazed at Finn's hand that kept mine before locking eyes. I hid my panic. I was scared that Finn would reject me like Tank.

He lifted my hand. "You don't have to do this."

"I want to… Is that okay?" I held my breath as Finn thought it over. After getting consent, I removed his shorts. I kneeled over his crotch and took his semi-erect cock into my hand. I opened my mouth and moved my head forward. I extended my tongue and that was the first thing to touch the head of his cock. I began to circle it slowly; it was so smooth under my tongue. I licked lower, beneath the head, down one side of the shaft and then the other.

Finn was stiff. If he wasn't the top, he didn't know what to do. He didn't know what was okay or where could his hands go. He didn't give much of a response when his cock was escorted into mouth. He let out a heavy exhale as I swirled my tongue and took more of him. When it all became too intense, he clasped at the bed covers.

I took in as much of Finn as I could. After a while of working up and down his shaft, I pulled away. My hand took the place of my lips, and he fitted perfectly in it.

Because of the blindfold and the desecration of our conversations, I hadn't seen Finn's penis before that day. It was beautiful. It stood tall. Powerful. His cock had an impressive length, and I wanted every inch inside of me.

"Where's the condom?" I asked. I got my answer then rushed to Finn's pants. I grabbed it out of his pocket. I snatched my panties off before rejoining the man. I wanted Finn to feel comfortable to do whatever he wanted, so I told him, "I have no rules, but I'll respect your boundaries." I threw my right leg over his supine body. I paused to ask, "Are you sure that you're fine with this. If you're not, we can do it like usual."

Finn relaxed his hand to my outer thighs to calm me. "This is fine," he assured. He used his free hand to steer his cock in between my slit and rest at the entrance of my vagina. He coached me by announcing, "You got this. Move when you want."

As I lowered myself, I bit my lip, enjoying the feeling. My eyes locked with his as I reached the base. I place my hand on Finn's soft chest for balance, and he moves his hands to my side. I began to slide up and down. I moved slowly at first then I began to pick up the pace. I bounced my hips.

After a while, Finn took control. He pulled me forward to change the angle. His moves were slow, but he worked it. With every thrust, his pelvis ground against my clit before slipping away. His hands moved up my back. He unhooked and removed my bra. His wide hands squeezed my breasts.

I leaned until our chests met. I hugged him close, and was lost in our physical contact. I could hardly breath: everything felt amazing. "You are so good, Finn," I whispered into his ear.

What would Tank have done if he walked in? He would see his girlfriend riding another man in his bed. Would he have been mad if he knew that I was enjoying it?

Finn's breath was now coming in heavy pants. His eyes were closed. He was close to experiencing the delights of cumming, and I was not far behind.

I was left in a white haze by my body-shattering climax. I scooted over the imaginary line that always parted us after our encounters. I softly directed that Finn could refresh in the bathroom. When I was released from my stupor, I had a manic episode of goggles. I snuggled into the pillow and watched Finn returned. "I never thought that I would have done that," I said out loud.

Before Tank and I became celibate, our sex life was vanilla. We had sex regularly, but it was always the same. Kissing was foreplay, and missionary was our only position. Many positions felt off limits. A blowjob was unthinkable. I could only fantasize about what I read in my stories until I tied it with Finn.

"Why would you stay if you're not happy?" Finn asked. "Sometimes you talk like you hate him."

"I don't hate Tank," I admitted, contradicting my own depressive thoughts. "I can't think of a word that describes how I really feel about him, but whatever it is, I've felt that way for awhile. It's just easier to stay. Not every story ends like a romance novel."

"Well, maybe you're reading the wrong book."

I watched Finn getting dressed and thought of how good of a guy he was. "Rachel is lucky to have you," I admired. I had no doubts if Finn loved his wife. "I'm sure you two will have a beautiful family one day."

"Soon," he smiled. "Rachel's pregnant."

I sat up, hearing the news. "Congratulations," I cheered. "That's great. You're going to be an amazing dad." As I tied my robe, a question popped into my head. "Can a chandelier fall and kill you? Not a lot of guys I can ask, but there's cracks in our ceiling," I asked, pointing up.

He studied the slit and responded, "Better safe than sorry." He allowed me to lead him to the front door. In the middle of the staircase he asked, "How did it go with the music producer."

"I could only talk to him about my music at his playspace. We got-"

Finn stopped me. "Mercedes, that's against the rules. You shouldn't have done that."

"It was the only way I could talk to him. He wouldn't allow me to meet him at his office," I justified. "We got into an argument. He called me a brat. I called him a sick bastard. We're finished." I opened the door, wished Finn luck, and promised we'd meet again soon.

In the time I had left, I dressed, emptied the bathroom bin, and washed the bed covers. I was just reaching the top of the stairs when Tank entered the house. I continued to the room without verbally acknowledging him.

Tank entered the room with confusion on his face. "What are you doing?"

I snatched a sheet out of the pile I had on the floor. "The maid had to leave early for a family emergency. I decided to help. That little door between the kitchen and the basement steps is the laundry room. What I'm doing now is called making a bed." I was still mad with Tank, so I couldn't resist being mean. "Where's your mother?"

"I sent a car for her." He noticed that I was struggling to put the fitted cover on the king sized bed. "Let me help you." He hurried and took one end. He didn't hide that he wanted me to talk to him. "Did you pack?"

"Yes," I replied, hissing the s. I didn't say anything else until we were done with the bed. "I'm leaving," I announced, before heading to the closet for my bags.

Tank followed me. He stopped me. He lifted my luggage and offered to carry it. He wasn't helping me just because I was mad. He was a gentleman.

* * *

Growing up together, M&T sleepovers were a Saturday must. We were just two kids happy to be together. After we graduated and got older, our special nights became less and less.

I only called for a sleepover to stay away from home until I left for Paris the next morning.

Tina shrugged at my joke. "That one wasn't funny."

"Maybe you're too sober to get it," I goofed between sips of wine. "There was a-" I was interpreted by Tina's phone that sounded from the other room. "Are you going to answer that?"

She declined. "Tonight is about us. Let it ring."

The corners of my lips wickedly curled. "Is it a guy?" I teased.

"Yeah," she blushed. "I'm dating again. We had a fun first date, and I'm really looking forward to the second. I can't tell you who he is now, but if you met him in the right setting, I'm sure you'd like him too… I just want something like what you and Tank have."

"No, you don't," I whispered, and she didn't hear. "Tina, I'm happy for you."

Then it was my turn in the hot seat. I couldn't hold the same cheerful demeanor as Tina. My secrets were too dark.

I leaned over to peek at my phone that was on the coffee table. After scanning the notification, I mumbled, "Just Sugar."

Tina debated with herself if Sugar was the name of a person or a phone game. "Sugar?"

I flipped my phone face down. "Just responding before she called it a night."

I didn't know what I wanted to do about the Puck situation. I thought and I thought, but it was Sugar that gave me the answer. I asked for Puck to be blocked, and she did it before her two day break.

"Did you find a new best friend?" Tina joked.

"You're the only best friend I need," I cheesily promised. "Me and Sugar, it's just business."

She laughed. "What business would you have with someone named Sugar?" When her question was declined, she said, "You never do the unspeakable."

I took a deep breath before telling her about my membership to the kinky app. I didn't tell her every detail and every hookup. I didn't know what she would have thought of me if I did. I downplayed the experience of the few stories I shared. My relief from telling some of my truths was later replaced with regret.

"No," Tina breathed. She didn't hide the disappointment on her face. "No, that's wrong."

"I know, but it felt so right. When I was with them, I felt excited and free. I don't get to feel that a lot."

"So when Tank leaves, you go to another guy? Is that what you do with your time?"

"Not like I have anything else to do with it, Tina! I have nothing going on. You've watched my music career fail TWICE! I was at home day and night. What else could I do with my time other than find a guy that would make me feel better than my own boyfriend?"

"How long have you been doing this? What would Tank think?" she challenged.

I lied about when I started my relationships. I lied when I told her that they had ended. I said what I thought I had to say to get the conversation closed quicker. "Tank would say that I was sinning and that I was going to hell. I'll be with my mother, but I'll be fine," I shrugged.

In my anger, I didn't give a damn about what Tank would have thought of me, but in the back of my mind, I knew that I needed to keep his support. I knew that the only way Tank would have found out about my double life was if Tina had told him.

"If you tell him, then you'd never have to worry about me again. I'd be done with you," I threaten, watching Tina's eyes lower to the glass in her hand. "You're MY friend, right? Don't let Tank separate us."

I put Tina in a difficult position. She was stuck between a rock and a hard place. Was she going to be respectful to Tank and tell him what his girlfriend had done, or was she going to uphold our friendship and keep my secrets? Neither of us knew if I was willing and capable of ending our long friendship, but she didn't want to test me

I put my glass on the table. "I should go." I gathered my things and left. I intended to find a hotel for the night, but I was pulled into a different direction as I drove through the city. I found myself at Sam's apartment, and that was where I stayed until morning.


	8. Worship

I arrived in Paris late into the night. "That's beautiful." I was awed by the city's lights in the distance.

"It has nothing on you," Sam said. He took my hand and led me off the balcony. He hugged me close. "I'm glad you came." He leaned down to kiss me, but was interrupted by beep of the door unlocking.

The woman strolled into the suite. She carried her heels in one hand and her cellphone in the other. She chose to ignore us and continued to talk on the phone. When called out by Sam, she promised to the person on the other end, "I'll call you back."

I smiled as Sam introduced me to Santana; she didn't need an introduction. "It's nice to meet you. I've seen your work."

Sam laughed. "You recognize her, but not me."

I shrugged and suggested, "Do more TV."

Santana was sharing the suite with Sam until she left for Ibiza. It was only a few days. She would leave and Sam and I would have plenty of time alone.

"I'm going to bed. I have a stupid gig tomorrow. You hire Santana Lopez, and all you use are my hands." Santana groaned and rolled her eyes. "Good night." She disappeared into her room.

"We should call it a night too. I'm pretty sure that you're tired from your flight." He escorted me to our room.

* * *

I stood back and watched Sam being pampered by hair and makeup artists. He looked comfortable. He wasn't bothered by all the hands pulling him in different directions.

The photographer, Brittany, rushed in and ordered everyone to leave. She demanded an empty room to work her _magic_. She turned to her model and questioned, "Sam, why aren't you dressed?" She was hurrying to get her best shots before a company representative arrived to dictate the look.

"Okay, I'm going," Sam said. He left to slip into his suit. After a moment, he called out for me, cutting into the conversation Brittany and I had begun. When I was with him behind the curtain, he asked, "Can you help me with this tie? I usually have people to do this." He took advantage of the closeness to kiss me, but I didn't let that distract me. He stepped from behind the cover.

Sam was a natural in front of the camera. He was very smooth. He changed poses after a few flashes. He didn't take a bad picture. He glowed almost brighter than the lights pointed at him.

Brittany looked away from the lens. "Enough of that. Put on the second suit." She moved to the monitor to inspect her work. She clicked away as she talked to me. Eventually, she announced, "I would love to shoot you one day. You're really pretty."

I thanked her with a smile.

"Maybe some sexy pictures for Sam?"

I laughed out loud. "You didn't give those kind of picture to a friend."

"Sexy picture for your boyfriend? We will keep them tasteful," she promised. "I send pictures to Santana all the time."

Santana was a private person and worked very hard to keep her life from bloggers. She had ever sued a magazine for running fake stories about her. She chose what would be put out. At the time, it wasn't known that she had a long-term girlfriend.

"I'll think about it," I responded. I had only been professionally photographed once, and that lead to my downfall as a music artist. I didn't have the energy to do a photo shoot of my own. I fell back into the background as the photo shoot continued.

* * *

We had a great day, but more fun that night. We talked for hours and discussed a few of the worlds biggest debates: Human cloning should be allowed or banned, Star Wars or Star Trek, and Superman vs Batman. Sam and I let our hair down and let our geek flag fly high.

I was awoken the next morning by Santana jumping into the bed. I sat up and ran my hands through my hair. When I looked around I found the bed empty except for the two of us.

"Sam has two shoots and a fashion show today. He told me to keep you company." She held up the room's key card. "In for a little R&R on Sam?"

Santana and I spent the day at the spa. I did whatever Santana suggested. Later, back in the suit, we sat on the sofa and talked. She was fun to talk to. She would say the most empowering things. When I watched her in commercials, I never expected her to be that cool.

"The only thing that the peasants need to know about me is that I'm hot and the undisputed top bitch," she reported. "I do what I want. Too many women make decisions based on what others will think. When was the last time you said fuck everything and did what you wanted?" She had to wait a while for the answer.

"I guess when I left for college. My dad didn't like that I went out of state."

"That's really sad. That long?" Aww, she knew how to make me feel special. "But you're here."

"It's not a 'fuck everything' decision," I disputed, rubbing at the cotton sleeve of hotel robe. "I built a story just to get away from my boyfriend… And if I wasn't mad at him, I probably wouldn't have come."

"You lied to be with Sam, and you haven't had sex since you've arrived?" Santana asked. She continued to challenge Sam and I's relationship before announcing, "I opened him to a world full of freaks, and Sam only wanted you. Either you're really special, or Sam's too big of a dweeb to take advantage of his opportunities."

I didn't know how to respond to her comment. "You were on the app?" I snickered when she nodded. _She's gorgeous. Why does she need an app to get people to do what she wants?_ "Were you a dominant or are you the type that dominates everything but submits in bed?" I joked. I honestly didn't expect to get an answer.

She changed her position to be closer to me. "How eager are you to find out?"

I smirk. I leaned forward and answered, "Very." I eyed her lips as she led into the kiss with them.

She teased me by letting our lips graze. Sensing my desire for her, she lingered. She kissed me and slowly advanced. She was very talented with her tongue and knew what she was doing; I crown her as the best kisser out of everyone I've been with. Santana's lips were soft and her mouth tasted sweet. Her hair curled around my fingers. Freshly painted, her fingers cuddled my cheeks softly. Her moans were melodic and vibrated her lips against mine.

I felt no rush to end the kiss until I heard the beep. I pulled away, leaving my head spinning. I stood from the sofa as Sam entered. With tight lips, I greeted him. I gave Santana an apologetic look as I passed her to get to Sam.

"I was just checking in before my show. How is everything going? Was Santana nice?"

"Always," Santana smiled.

"We got massages and sticky face masks," I recapped. "It was great."

He smiled down at me before turning to Santana. "I swear there's more Paparazzi than there was this morning. I had to fight to get into the hotel."

"They got tipped off to where all the models were staying," she explained. "I bet it was that little bitchlet, Smythe. He always wants attention."

"Sebastian isn't staying in this hotel."

She had a second suspect. "Would it kill Blaine to look to see who's following him."

The two models debated who was responsible for ruining their Paris stay. They went through everyone they knew. Luckily, we were safe because celebrity photographers were not allowed in the building. Santana and Sam went on and on, and I silently watched.

Tight on time, he ended the discussion and went to our room with me following close behind. He put his phone on it's charger. "I made a reservation for tonight. A car will pick you up, and I'll see you then." He kissed me on his way out.

I didn't have the courage to see Santana right after that, so I stayed in the room.

* * *

I lied awake that night. I listened to Sam's breath as he spooned me. I got out of bed with the idea of getting a glass of water and texting Tank. Opening the door, I find that Santana had beaten me to the kitchen. I was hesitant to proceed forward.

She looked me up and down. "You sleep in that, and Sam still haven't made a move?" She shook her head and returned to her drink.

I shyly folded my arms to cover the lace trim of my chemise, but relaxed when I noticed that she was showing more skin in her lingerie set. I was only sleeping in sexy outfits for Sam. I didn't want to break Sam's rule, but then was an appropriate time. I leaned against the opposite counter, and start, "I'm sorry for what I did earlier. I was-"

"You got scared of what Sam would think," she finished, and I nodded. "You went against everything we talked about earlier. What do you think he would have done if he saw us together?"

In my panic filled mind, Sam would have gone mad with rage. He would be angry at me for being with someone else after he invited me to the city. Everything would end with him forcing me out of his life.

In reality, none of that would have happened. He would have done nothing.

Santana stepped closer to me. "I know our friend, Sam, would want you to explore whatever you feel." She smirked at me and waited for me to make a move. After seconds of kissing, she stopped me and asked, "You thought about Sam, but did you think of Britt?"

I didn't think of sweet Brittany until I was asked.

"I'm committed to Brittany, but I like to see her enjoy herself," She admitted. "She's in my room."

I knew what she meant. I was willing to see where things went.

Brittany sat up in bed when her name was called. She smiled when Santana led me and explained the plan. She crawled to me on her knees. "Really?" the pretty blonde excitedly asked.

I nodded. I was nervous, but responded, "It will be cool."

Santana nudged me closer to her girlfriend. Her warm hands massaged my arms as she watched our tongues dance. "Are you still interested in knowing my kink?"

I break the kiss. "Yeah," I breathed. I spun to watch her leave the room. I was confused to where she was going. I returned my attention back to Brittany. I slowly stroked her waist. I loved how soft her skin was.

"Is this your first threesome?" Brittany questioned. She played with the straps on my shoulders.

"Yes, but I'm not nervous about that. I've never been with another girl."

She giggled. "We're woman." She moved in for another kiss; it only lasted a second. "Santana and I do a lot of fun things, but I like threesomes most. Sharing is caring." Of course she had a cute answer to why. " How do you like sex?"

"It's a little rough."

Brittany pushed me on my back. She straddled my lap and pinned my arms to the bed. "Like this?" She moved her hands out until our fingers locked and our noses touched. "Do you like being dominated? You like being tied down? Do you like being told when to cum?"

"Already starting?" Santana asked.

The woman over me looked up with an innocent smile. "Just playing around."

I strained my neck to see Santana in the doorway. My heart jumped into my throat when I noticed Sam behind her. I couldn't form words. I stared into his eyes as he was led to the chair in the corner.

Santana sat in Sam's lap and announced, "We're just going to watch for awhile." She noticed that I was stiff. "Sam, are you okay with this?" She received a nod then encouraged the show to continue. She brushed down the guy's untidy hair as they watched us.

Brittany kissed me. She parted my lips and began to swirl her tongue around mine. She used her lips to distract me as her hand float to my chest. She squeezed me through the thin fabric and admitted "I love your breasts. I watched how they bounce when you walk. I bet the feel amazing under this slip."

I lift and let her undress me. I was left nude.

From over me, Brittany traced my torso. "I love your body so much." She cupped the flush of my breasts and announced, "I was right. Your so soft." She listened to my moan when her finger brushed over my puckered nipple. She extended her tongue to trace my areola before closing her mouth around my sensitive skin. She licked, sucked, nibbled, and then mimicked on the other breast.

She positioned us so I sat with my back against her chest. She spread my legs wide and whispered, "Let them see you're beautiful pussy." Her fingers walked along my thighs until they rested over my clit. Gently, she massaged my bud. She spoke my body's praises into my ear. Her hand lowered to insert her fingers into me. She curled her fingers. She knew she had found my sweet spot when my moans got louder.

"This feels so good," I purred. I was vulnerable for her.

Brittany unexpectedly stopped fingering me then seductively licked her fingers clean. She moved around me to perform cunnilingus. Brittany bent my knees for a better view. She pecked along my flesh until she reached my center. She teased my puffy lips before flicking and caressing my clit with her tongue. Softly, she scratched up and down my thighs. Her ass pointed into the air as she dove deeper to trace the entrance of my vagina. Not forgetting my clit, she returned to massaging it with her thumb.

Santana bit her lip as she watched her girlfriend please me. She silently watched before ordering Sam, "Don't take your eyes off of us for a second." The dark haired woman removed her underwear and joined us on the bed. She kneeled behind her girlfriend for oral.

Brittany was pleased, but didn't miss a beat. Her tongue lapped at me. Her hips ground against Santana's face.

Santana watched me from over Brittany's pale ass-cheeks. "You like that, Mercedes? Does Brittany lick your pussy better than Sam?"

I was honest. "Yes." I was burning up. When my orgasm began, I repeatedly panted, "Yes, yes, yes." I had a fistful of yellow hair and tried not to pull it. I didn't need a lot of time to get ready for round two. I was still when Santana left and rejoined the group with a silicone dildo.

"Do you have a toy?" She put the dildo in my face and directed me to suck it into my mouth. "I know you've given a blow job before." She began to fuck my mouth with the toy. When she decided that it was wet enough she moved it then told me to rest flat on my back. She swung her leg over my head and lowered herself. She leaned until she reached my crotch. She guided the tip of the dildo into my waiting pussy. Beginning to lick my clit, she slit the toy forward until it was deep. She moved it slowly enough that I was able to adjust but then faster and faster.

I stroked her moist pussy. I grabbed hold of her legs and feel her prickly goosebumps. I worked my tongue to match the speed of the thrusts. I explored, savoring Santana's sweet and tangy taste. I moaned into her. I used what I learned from Sam and Brittany to impress.

Santana shuddered with pleasure. She couldn't manage to continue with the toy. She straightened and her body jolted down. "Please don't stop. Make me cum in that pretty mouth of yours." She rode my face.

Brittany took the role that was abandoned. She wanted me to catch up with Santana. Even when I didn't come first, she didn't give up.

The three of us rested in bed, glowing from our activity.

* * *

Sam leaned against the kitchen counter, talking on the phone. He occasionally picked off his plate. When he noticed me, he stepped forward and quickly kissed me. He pointed to my lunch on the island. He talked on the phone a little longer, but ended the call by saying, "I love you too. Have a good day."

I was sitting with my meal. I tried to look like I wasn't listening, but apparently I failed.

"No need to be jealous. It was my mom," Sam admitted. He laughed as he tapped through his phone. He showed me the video of a woman cheering for her son's commercial. "My commercial aired yesterday. She does this for all of my ads. I'm sure she's pointed me out to every cashier at the supermarket back home." He returned to the corner to eat.

"She should be proud. You are very talented."

Sam smiled at me. "What does your mom think of you? You're amazing too."

"She's dead."

With pity, he asked, "How?"

I whispered into my glass, "Not fast enough." I meant what I said, but I didn't mean to say it out loud.

He looked up from his plate. He was shocked and disturbed by my answer. "Why would you say something like that?" He knew that he wasn't getting an answer. "But don't you at least miss her?"

It's hard to miss someone that wasn't really there in the first place.

"I don't." I killed that topic and demanded that we talk about something else.

Sam was silent, letting the subject pass. The air cleared, and Sam chuckled. "You were great last night. Santana always comes up with the craziest ideas."

"Did you and Santana…" I hesitated. Did I have any right to know?

He knew what I wanted to ask. He nodded and admitted, "In a broken elevator of the headquarters of Vogue. I'm pretty sure there's a sex tape of us taken from a security camera." He wore a grin. "It was exciting."

Santana strutted into the suit with her hands filled with bags. After being brought into the conversation, she groaned. "Uh, four hours. I had to find some way to kill time." She said a few other words before being interrupted by Sam's phone. Still enjoying her business-free weekend, she ordered him to take the call in his room. When Sam was gone, Santana took one of her bags and dropped it in front of me. "I got a gift for you. Open it."

Slowly, I pulled the tissue out of the bad. I couldn't hold back my awkward laugh when I saw the box of the sex toy. I shyly dropped my hand to my lap.

"It's yours. Take it." Santana snatched the gadget out of the bag. She set it on the counter and modeled off the box. "Every woman should have a toy… especially when they have a boyfriend like yours."

"Umm, thank you."

* * *

After Santana packed and left for the airport, Sam and I were alone. We did, you know, things couples do. We talked. We ate meals. We watched movies.

I lounged on the sofa with my feet propped in Sam's lap. Repeatedly, I'd look away from the screen to marvel at the model. I watch as he laughs at the scene; I liked his laugh, just as I like his smile. I was looking forward to having him for a few days. My moment in heaven was disturbed by the ringing of my phone. "It's Tank. I have to take it. It's only going to take a minute," I promised before going to our room.

The phone call did run longer than I expected. I thought that I'd stay mad and hold the conversation for only two minutes, but I couldn't stay in my feelings. I listened to the excitement in his voice; he was happy to hear from me. Reaching the hour mark, I remembered how we used to talk on the phone for many more.

Sam sulked over the interruption. He loved the fantasy of it just being us. He wanted all my attention- even if he had to steal it. He was full of passion and only willing to wait for a little longer.

I continued to talk when the bed sank beside my right knee then beside my left. I didn't acknowledge the fingertips slowly moving from the hollow at the back of my right knee, along the side of my thigh, and drifting gently over the curve of my butt. I only reacted when Sam leaned over me and pulled my hair away from my ear. I puffed as I felt his breath on the nape of my neck. _What were we talking about?_ I asked myself. _Oh, the party._

Tank had finally finished his album. He wanted to schedule a listening party for as soon as possible: it was ten days away. It would be mostly for marketing, but he promised that it would be special.

Time's up.

Sam kissed my neck. His tongue caused a sensuous shiver to run through my body. His hand settled on my skin. He squeezed. Sam had an idea to wind me up. "Don't hang up," he whispered into my ear. He lifted my hips. His hand wandered into my damp panties and explored every inch of my secret garden.

My toes curled at Sam's touch. I hummed to suppress the moans. I wanted to be with my sweetheart. I wanted to be with my lover. I struggled to be attentive to both.

Tank was clueless to what was happening on my end of the call. "I have a meeting later today. I want to explore with my career. What do you think of me acting?"

"Oh my God," I gasped in response to my building lust. I played it off by adding, "That's great. You would be amazing." I was getting weaker by the second. I had to get off the phone. "I should start on my dad's lunch. Bye." I hung up before Tank could respond.

Sam had no remorse for his actions. He continued to peck at my skin. "You were wet before I came in. Was that for me or him?"

I wasn't going to answer that. I rolled onto my back and smiled at him. "Were you trying to get me in trouble."

"Not at all." He brushed my hair back and silently studied me. "You are so beautiful." He bent to kiss me on the lips and then he let his mouth slide from mine and trailed down my neck.

I couldn't relax without asking, "Is that your thing?" I gulped down the lump in my throat when Sam looked up with confusion. "Watching? Being watched?"

It had became a recurring theme. For most of our hookups, there was the chance that someone could hear us. It was Santana's kink, and you know, birds of a feather flock together. I didn't mind. I just wanted to know.

He was silent as he thought. "I like pleasing you… Um, you're my kink," he admitted. "I want to see you happy, and I'll do whatever I have to."

We were in bed for hours. The sex was like a slow building orchestra. It all started slow and tender then progressed to hard and needy. Our hands moved manically, squeezing, massaging, sliding. Our kiss desperate. We had strong emotions.

I curled in bed when Sam got up. I couldn't hear what he was saying on the phone, but I knew he was speaking with the hotel staff. I silently observed him as he moved through the suite; he spent most of his time in our bathroom. When he repeatedly checked on me, I giggled, "Yes, I'm awake." When Sam was done, I followed him to the bathroom.

He drew a bath. Bubbles filled the tub. The lights were dim, and candles lit the room. Rose petals were spread. The water was warm and perfect for relaxing. It was a beautiful and romantic sight.

We both climbed into the tub. Like earlier, we fell into conversation.

Every question Sam asked, I gave a vague answer. I didn't want to talk about my brothers. I didn't want to explain my hatred for my mother. I had zero nostalgia for my past music career. I tried to keep the discussion on him.

Sam was the oldest of three kids. He loved his family. Growing up in the south, he always dreamt big. He enjoyed his career.

"Was it ever hard?" I rested against his hard chest.

"Yeah, when I started. I was jumping between cities to get whatever came my way. It was mostly straps where another model decided not to show. I had hours to get to the other side of the country. I got tired." He explained. He wrung the sponge and watched the water rolled down my breasts. "Can I tell you a story?"

I braced myself for the tale. I was expecting to hear about a skinny blonde that became one of the world's top models. Maybe it was a cute brunette that never really made it.

"I moved to LA, and for a steady job, I became an assistant to a photographer. One day we were doing a shoot for a singer. I thought she looked gorgeous, but she was too busy with her manager to notice me. They were arguing about, I think, a shawl. She stood her ground. She was amazing. I was looking forward to buying whatever she put out, but she didn't. I never thought I'd see her again."

It was me.

Two strangers meet three times in history: a photo shoot, the mall, and though an app. It couldn't have been a coincidence. My mind wouldn't choose a side: was it fate or stalking?

I was confused, so I panicked. Standing, I announced, "I'm really tired."

I slept in the empty room that night; it was the only way I could think. I decided that it was best for me to go. When morning came, I was going to be on the first flight back to the States. I wished that I could have left without a long goodbye, but all my things were in Sam's room.

Sam held out my last pair of jeans. "I think this is the last of it," he said. He sat beside my suitcase and watched me. "I really like you. I'm sorry if this is too forward, but..." He was asking me to leave Tank. He wanted me and didn't want to share or sneak around. "I want to give you everything."

There was no clear benefits of ending my life with Tank to be with Sam. Why exit a relationship just to get into the same type of relationship with someone else? The guy got to live his dreams, and I would be their dependent.

I didn't have the heart to tell him no, so I answered, "I need a moment to think about it."

* * *

 **AN: Thanks for reading. I apologize for the wait. I felt like everything I wrote (especially the next chapter.) wasn't coming together; words were letting me down. I'm trying not to repeat things and find new kinks for the final chapters. I struggled, but I wouldn't post something I wasn't happy with. A review would be appreciated.**

 **AN2: I promise that this is the last time I change the title of this story. It's back to its original title: Submit. I changed it to Kink when the story was more smut than story. This story has come a long way.**


	9. Limit

I grab tightly onto the sheets, feeling my lover's wide chest gliding against my back. I was filled with adrenaline, lust, and him. I took a deep breath, taking in air polluted with the scent of our sex. I buried my face into the pillow to muffle his name from falling from my mouth. I wanted to be silent. I only wanted to hear his moans and grunts that he breathed into my ear with every thrust. My view was darkened by a cover, but flashes of white began to appear.

Then blissful release. My breath hung in my lungs. My body trembled from the pleasant sensation. I had reached the climax, and I wasn't alone for long.

I was released from my binds, and then Finn and I began our pillow talk. I scratched at the dry wax on my shoulder, and there was more on my back. I usually soaked in every word Finn said, but I was distracted by him. I felt like I was looking at him for the first time- really looking. I noticed how he lit up when talking about his life, and how his brown eyes demanded to meet mine before he gave me advice. I liked his positive energy.

"Mercedes," Finn called, bringing out of my daze. He was the only one that noticed that my phone went off three times in the past twenty minutes. He questioned if it was important or an emergency.

I had no interest in answering. "It's just Tank's mother. Because I don't work, she thinks I should always be at home, where Tank can find me." Looking up at Finn, I asked, "How's your in-laws?"

Of course he said they were great; everything in his life was great. He continued to talk with me until he decided that he had to go.

I volunteered to stay behind and clean. I had to shower and scrub the candle wax off my body. My eyebrows raised as I watched Finn redress. Although he was a teacher, I hadn't seen him dress professionally before that day. I asked why.

"Teacher evaluation," he answered, throwing the tie around his neck.

I saw no purpose in wearing a tie home, but if he wanted to leave the room dresses as he entered, I wasn't going to argue. "Can I? I'm a pro at ties," I joked. I sat on my knees as Finn approached the end of the bed. After tying the tie, I acted on one of my silly urges. I pulled Finn into a kiss. I was living in the moment.

We got lost on each other's lips. Our tongues explored forbidden territory. My hands drifted from the knot of his tie to his strong shoulders, and his framed my hips. We could have gone on forever if we didn't have to breath. We regretted our actions as soon as we parted; it was in our eyes.

For Finn, kissing was a hard limit. He believed that it was too intimate; a familiarity he only wanted to share with his spouse. Kisses were pure and sweet. Sex could be compulsive and disconnected, but the fuck was still good.

I was sure that I was going to lose Finn for what I had done. I nibbled at my bottom lip as I thought of a comeback. I hung my head in shame and let Finn walk away. When I was alone in the room, I finally took interest in my phone.

New message from Tank: We need to talk.

* * *

I got home and was alone. I found myself going room to room. I wasn't cleaning. I wasn't checking door knobs and light switches. I was mindlessly wandering. I knew that there were better things I could have been doing, but I didn't want to. I stopped at the top of the stairs when Tank entered.

He smiled when he saw me looking down at him with my arms folded. "Is everything okay? Are you mad at me?" he asked, and I shook my head. When he reached me, he kissed my lips. "I took my mom to a hotel. The relationship is between me and you, and I don't want anyone else in it."

Since I had been back from France, Tank's mother and I stayed as far apart as we could. Tank split his time. There was no contact between the women in his life, so what caused his episode?

"She found your vibrator, and made it a bigger deal than it really is. I found it a few days ago," he explained.

I lost time feeling too uncomfortable to play with the vibrator. The orgasms were strong and often, but I did miss the human contact. I constantly asked myself, _why did you spend so long fingering yourself when you could have bought a toy_ \- Oh yeah, Tank. That's why I was scared to bring the gift home.

"I knew, and I didn't care," he admitted. "I don't want you to feel like you ever have to answer to my mom, understand? I refuse to let her run you away." After getting a nod he quickly pecked my lips again. "I know that you're ready to go, but give me a minute to shower."

"Where are we going?"

"To see that movie you wanted. No interruptions tonight," he promised. The first time he planned a date night earlier in the week.

I followed behind him. "Can I check the movie time on your phone. Mine's dead." I turned on Tank's phone only to be denied access. "Since when did you have a password?"

From the bathroom he explained, "I lost my phone the other week. I found it and realized that I couldn't risk it." He peeked out and told me the code.

When the shower started, the voice in my head piped back up. It told me to read his messages and look at his pictures. _He takes long showers. You have plenty of time to check his voicemail too._ It wanted to find something incriminating- anything.

"Shut up," I groaned out loud at my internal comments. I drew the line. I didn't want to be the stereotypical girlfriend that went through her guy's phone. As I waited for Tank, I played his phone games, losing every life he had. Out of the things I did on his phone, I didn't check for the movie. When Tank asked about it, I guessed a time that was off by twenty five minutes.

Besides the mix up, our date was great. We went to the movie and then dinner. There was hours of talking and laughing. At home, we parted and began to get ready for bed.

I used the happy time as my distraction. When I was in bed, I thought about Finn. My guilt and shame set in, and it was too much for me. I didn't want to be alone.

Tank watched me as I crept into the guest room. With good reason, he questioned my intentions.

"I'm not going to try anything," I promised. I crawled into bed and scooted closer to my boyfriend. I moved his arm over my shoulder. "I just miss the way you used to hold me." I needed it that night. I settled into Tank's embrace.

"I was thinking of cutting the cook's days," Tank admitted. He didn't know our cook's name. "Maybe I could try-"

I sat up and looked at him. "You can't cook," I reminded him with a laugh.

He nodded then jested, "I can't promise that we won't get salmonella poisoning… but we'll be sick together." He pulled me to rest back on his chest. He admitted, "I talked to Tina yesterday." He sat in silence for a moment.

I held my breath. Too scared of what he was going to say, I gawked at our covered feet. "And?"

"Why didn't you tell me that you sent your demo to a label?"

I gave him a vague answer and promised that I was over it. "Was that all Tina told you?"

"She told me to remind you of your appointment with Dr. Chang tomorrow. She thinks you need to go. Do you know what you're going to talk to the doctor about?"

I stiffly shook my head against his chest. "Not really," I lied. "I need to sleep on it."

* * *

Mike sat beside me and asked, "How are you?"

"Fine," I answered. I fidgeted with the card in my bag while we talked. When I noticed that the end of the hour was approaching, I asked him, "Can I give you something?" I slowly removed and passed the black card. I tried to explain the business to the best of my abilities, but Mike continued to look at me confused.

"Kinks, dominates, and submissives?" he repeated.

I regretted bringing it up. I thought that he was too professional to be interested. "You can give it back. I wanted to pass the card on before I left the site. I don't have a lot of options for who."

"Why are you leaving?"

"Umm," I wasn't going to tell him that I had fallen out with almost every dominate I had. "I joined for the adventure. I had it. Now, it's time for me to go."

Mike laughed and admitted, "That doesn't sound honest, but I'll take it." He studied the card. "Were you a submissive or dominant?"

"I was the submissive to three dominates." I felt tense under the silence. "I'm not, like, a nymphomaniac."

Mike finally looked away from the business card. "I didn't say that," Mike argued. He twisted the business card between his fingers. "It's a big if, but if I wanted to join, what do I do?"

"Go to the address on the card. People will rush to you like they're selling cars, but asked for Sugar. She sees herself as a kinky cupid," I laughed. "She'll help you from there."

Mike put away the card with a second to spare.

Dr. Chang entered the room and his eyes immediately went to Mike's hand tucked in his front coat pocket. He knew he had more to say to his son, so he chose me first.

I entered the doctor's office with an idea of what I need to cover in my session. I was willing to pay attention. I had to tell him about my affairs, but I only gave an inch. I told him less than I told Tina. I wanted to understand my broken relationships, but Dr. Chang found a way to twist everything I said to direct me into what he wanted to speak on.

"I know that your parents divorced due to infidelity. You-"

"Who told you that?"

"I found your father's phone number in an old folder of yours. I spoke with him."

"You're not allowed to do that." I didn't know if he could do that without permission, but I didn't like it. I listened to Dr. Chang's theory to connect my behaviors to my mother's.

I knew not having my mother in my life was a problem; I realized that long before we started our sessions. Dr. Chang wasn't saying that. He was trying to imply that I was blindly following her footsteps.

I am nothing like my mother. Yeah, I cheated, but I would never abandon my children to be with a man. I couldn't be a woman that would leave the family that I built, only to return when it's convenient for me. No part of me would allow that to happen. If I had a daughter, I would be there to teach her things she couldn't learn from her father and older brothers. Unlike her, I'm woman enough to take care of my responsibilities. I am better than the woman that only gave birth to me.

The doctor studied me as I silently raked my nails at the armrest of my chair. "What are you thinking?" he asked.

"Do you want to know what I think? I think you're a quack." I reached for my bag and stood. "This was our last session," I declared before leaving. I don't stop until I was in my car. I took my phone out of the glove compartment. All I wanted to do was tell Tank what happened, but my heart jumped when I saw a notification from the kink app.

New message from The headmaster: MY OFFICE AT 9 A.M. SHARP.

* * *

Sugar waited to greet me at the entrance of the building. She warned me about my tardiness. She was sure the headmaster would not have been pleased.

"There's no such thing as being on time in LA," I replied.

"I'm nervous," she breathed, before being reminded that she wasn't the one going into the meeting. "Well I'm nervous for you. At least you look nice." The little relief given by her compliment was taken as she led me forward. "The headmaster has never met with any employee or member. No one has been in his office. What did you do?"

I knew why I was an exception, but I wasn't going to tell Sugar. I was in trouble.

She stopped feet away from the door. She shyly smiled. "Good luck."

My feet moved slowly, but my heart raced fast. I shakingly opened the door and entered with my eyes down. I closed the door and was alone with a mystery person. I was too anxious to turn. I could feel his eyes on me.

"You're late." The voice sent chills down my spine. It was calm, but authoritative. "Look at me."

I took a breath and obeyed. I was wowed and stepped forward for confirmation. Yes, I was seeing right. "Mike?"

Mike sat behind his desk with a stone face. It was nearly impossible to view him as the guy I talked and laughed with the day before. He was a dominant. He was a boss.

"You started the app. Why didn't you tell me yesterday. You let me ramble and… " I wasn't angry. I was confused by his play.

"I wanted to hear your pitch. I couldn't have sold it better myself," He complimented. "Mercedes, you know that's not why we're here. I was fine with you leaving and returning to the app, but you've been trouble since."

I ran my hands over the front of my dress. "I can explain everything." I was about to sit, but was stopped.

With his fingers, Mike signaled for me to continue standing. "Explain why you used my network to lure Puck into a conversation." He received silence. "Explain which of Finn's limits did you violate."

I let out a long sigh. "Okay, I can't explain everything."

"You and Sam broke a lot of my rules. Explain why you blocked him. Why didn't you give Sugar a reason? She needed it for her report."

"Sam was getting too attached."

"Attached? Yeah, that tends to happen when two travel to The City of Love."

"It's actually called The City of Lights," I corrected and got no response.

Did he not hear me or did he not care? Mike stood and rounded the desk. He stood over me and said, "I've never had someone break so many of my rules. What should I do?" His fingers slowly ran along my arm, giving me chills.

"I have to be punished, sir."

He smirked at my lack of hesitation. "Pull your dress up," he directed. "Pull your panties down. Put your hands on the desk. Spread your legs wider." He called the shots, and I followed without question. He stood and appreciated the view before rested his hand on my cheek. "Count." His hand came down with a stern pat, waking me to everything that was coming.

"One," I started. I was anticipating the good part- the pain. I didn't want mercy. I wanted the jolt that made me feel alive. "Two… Three."

Smack! … Smack! … Smack!

His descending hand landed solidly over and over, causing my body to jerk and air to rush into my lungs. He gradually changed the intensity. Between each connection, he paused, lingering where his hand landed.

Smack! … Smack! ... Smack!

Twenty. Two spank for each rule I broke.

Discipline finished, Mike ordered, "Stand." He returned to his chair. He watched me as he comfortably leaned back. His brown eyes twinkled with amusement.

I slowly straightened. I pulled my panties up and my dress down. From across the desk, I met his gaze. I knew what I wanted: Mike. I thought Mike was a good looking guy, but my sexually attraction to him had intensified. I saw him as strong; he was the pinnacle of power. I bit my bottom lip as I thought of ways to convince Mike that I deserved to stay in his office.

"Have you learned your lesson?"

I shook my head. I still wanted to be bad. I had sunk to the floor and crawled around the desk. Positioned on my knees, I remained silent as Mike spun towards me. I took a deep breath of his cologne- the same scent that I had been smelling on him for months. My hands reached out to touch his legs, and my eyes focused on what was between them. I bowed into his lap and pecked at the lump under his pants.

He hooked his finger under my chin and pulled me close. His forehead rested against mine. He promised that there was no reason to rush. He continued to speak, but I was deafened by my need for him. Finally, he kissed me. His mouth on mine, and mine finding the rhythm answer to his. His hands held me tight. After a long moment of kissing, he broke away.

I took one of his long fingers that rested against my cheek. I moved him past my lips, and his finger lingered on my tongue. I dragged his digit slowly down my wet tongue, giving him a peek of what was ahead as soon as I got his belt off. I didn't want to overthink; every time Mike and I met before, it was all thinking and brain-picking. I functioned through lust and instinct. With Mike, I discovered everything good about giving blowjobs.

I loved having his attention. I loved knowing that I was in control of his pleasure. I loved using my tongue and my entire mouth to please him. I loved feeling his cock, long and stiff, in my mouth. I loved when he brushed my hair out of my face for a better view. I loved how he tried to hold eye contact only to break it and throw his head back when I sucked harder. I loved how Mike's sophisticated vocabulary was reduced to primal moans.

Mike pulled me up and turned me. He lifted my dress back to my waist and snatched my panties down. With one of my legs free, he lifted my knee to rest on his desk. It was his turn to be on his knees. He buried his face between my legs. In long slow strokes, he licked along my labia, swollen and open for him. He licked over my clit for the first time and was rewarded by my instant reaction: I cried out and my body tensed and coiled.

"Mike," I huffed. I felt and appreciated every lick, jab, and circle of his tongue. "Yes, please don't stop," I begged as my hips bucked against his lips. Humming moans escaped me as he continued.  
Then came my climax. My body shook in shock. My mind spun. My heart raced. My vagina throbbed, gushing with new moisture.

I had the chance to stop right there. I could have left Mike's office and returned to the role as the innocent and faithful girlfriend. All I had to do was walk out.

I lowered my leg and straightened against Mike's chest. I melted at his touch to my bare skin, and then I knew that I wasn't ready to go anywhere. I tilted my head as he kissed and sucked at the side of my neck. I could feel his exposed member against my backside. "Fuck me," I breathed. I promised myself that he would be my last hurrah. "Fuck me now."

He obliged, folding me over his desk and ordering me to stay in place as he got a condom. His hand slithered up my back then his fingers locked around the back of my neck. He steadily entered my wet heat causing me to moan louder with each inch. He thrusted at his own speed, and each thrust was better than the last.

I clawing at the wooden desk that I was bent over. I felt the high, but I need to find a spark- something to make it special. "More. Please, more." When Mike spanked my bottom, I whimpered with delight. I felt the sting as he hit the same cheek. "Yes, slap my ass like that." I could feel the coiled energy building in her stomach. When I was released from the hold on my neck, I straightened until my back met Mike's chest. I lowered my hand to my crotch. I was soaked. I began to massage my clit, desperate for another climax.

Mike drove his hips back and forth, back and forth. When he noticed my fingers buried between my legs, his right hand rounded my hip and took my place. In my ear he said, "You have to trust that I know what I'm doing." He promised that he wouldn't hurt me. After getting a positive response, he left hand raised to the front of my neck.

I was put on alert: there was a strong hand covering my most vulnerable body part. "I trust you. I trust you," I repeated, calming myself. I was ready to surrender all of myself to him. I relaxed.

Breath play was more thrilling than I expected. My life was in someone else's hands. Mike's tightening grip made it very clear who was dominant. The pressure made my adrenaline rush, but when decompressed, I swooned. The cycle kept me distracted until it was too late.

I had a mind-blowing, world shaking orgasm. I trembled, and whimpers choked their way out of my tight throat. I clung to the desk for support, and Mike continued to pumped into me. I begged my partner to stop, so I could gather myself.

There was one last thing I wanted to try. I nudged Mike back into his chair, and then I returned to my position on the floor. My mouth watered as I rolled the condom off of Mike. I parted my lips and lead his cock in. Greedy for him, I took as much as I could, hitting the back of my throat. I bobbed up and down as I sucked.

His moans swiftly became desperate cries. "Mercedes, I'm cumming," he warned, but I didn't stop. Mike's body tensed as my tongue danced around the head of his cock. He exploded in my mouth, giving me my white prize. He flooded me until he was totally spent.

I savored the salty cum that coated my tongue. I thought swallowing was the biggest act of submission, and I was eager to do it. I took it down with little gulps. When my mouth was empty, I felt full on the inside.

* * *

I fell back into my domestic life. I was open with Tank. I made music. Yes, I had my rainy days. Sometimes, I felt unheard, but I tried not to let that knock me off course. I decided that I was going to put everything I did behind me and make the best out of what I had.

Finally the time came.

Tank joined me in front of the mirror. His arms wrapped around me as he admired our reflection. He rested his chin on my shoulder. "You look beautiful," he announced, "but I think you'd look better with this."

My heart skipped a beat when I noticed the little box in Tank's hand. I stepped out of his grip and turned to him. With wide eyes, I looked between him and the box.

He opened the box, flashing the gold cross necklace. He buckled the new necklace around my neck. "Perfect," he mumbled after straightening the charm. He took me in his arms and kissed me.

It wasn't a peck like I had become used to from him. It was long and slow. It was full of hot passion that could have set the room on fire. That moment, his lips gave me a thrill and made my heart flutter. The kiss took me back to our first.

I blushed when we separated. After a few calming breaths, I reminded, "We have a party to get to. There's a lot of people waiting for you."

Tank looked me up and down. "But all eyes will be on you," he smiled. His lips grazed my forehead. He took my hand and led me.

* * *

Tank filled the venue for his listening party. He invited his band members, his producers, bloggers, and both of our families. He loved having a crowd.

I stayed by my father. I didn't want Tank to question his perfect health. Occasionally, I'd lose him.

After avoiding her for weeks, I finally approached Tina. "Hey, have you seen my dad?" I received a head shake. I could feel the tension. "You look great, Tina… Maybe you should have brought a date. This would have been the perfect time to meet your guy."

No response.

I knew what she wanted to hear. I took a deep breath before acknowledging, "I shouldn't have said what I did at the sleepover. It was crazy."

"Very."

I nodded. "I was mad with so many people. I put you on my list for telling me the truth." Because I refused to apologize, I didn't know how to close the conversation. "Yeah," I breathed.

Tank ordered the DJ to stop the music. With all eyes on him, he took the microphone. He thanked everyone involved in the making of his third album. He bragged about all the work and heart he put into it. "After hours at the studio, I got to be with a woman that made home feel like heaven. She's the kind of woman that men pray that they could find, but I was blessed six years ago when God brought Mercedes into my life," he said... Then he called for me to join him.

I shook in the back of the party. I didn't want the attention, especially if I had known what was going to happen. I dragged my feet as the crowd shoved me forward.

He took my hand. "I want to lift and empower you like you've done me. I want to be your protector and provider. I want to be by your side everyday for the rest of my life. As loud as I can, I want to ask-" He kneeled in front of me.

"Get up," I whispered.

"Mercedes."

I felt the walls quickly closing in. From the corner of my eye, I could see everyone looking in awe. "Get up." My tone was a knife, solid and sharp.

He continued, "Will you marry me?"


	10. Control

I couldn't sleep. My heart ached from all that I carried; it got heavier by the hour. My engagement ring burned my skin as if it was a ring of fire. I looked at the generous man that sleep beside me and couldn't fight my tears. I left the bedroom, not wanting to disturb him.

Four hours later, Tank found me in the living room. "You're up early." When I looked up from my book, he easily saw the brokenness through my eyes. "Did you sleep? What's wrong?" He sat beside me.

I was rereading my first erotic novel- the story that had awoken me. I think it's ironic that I had experienced most of the book's events: whips, feathers, office sex, and a good-looking guy to sweep me to Europe. The book didn't do it justice.

I give those books credit for opening my mind, but I've never put my infidelity on that. I can't blame Sugar for helping me sign up for the app. I can't blame the men for my half of every encounter. I can't blame Tank and Tina for overlooking every cry I chose to keep silent. I had a problem that Dr. Chang couldn't help me understand. I had to solve it myself, and the first step was admitting.

"I cheated." Those two words rolled off my tongue, leaving a bitter taste. I waited for his reaction- I needed it. The longer he was silent, the more I hurt. "Say something. Do something. Yell at me. Curse and kick me out."

"Is any of that going to make you feel better?"

No, but I deserved it.

"None of it would help me," he announced. He couldn't look at me at that moment. He focused on my ring on the coffee table. Tank slowly nodded at my confession. "I- I, um, suspected something like that. I knew it when I held you. You were somewhere else, and it felt colder than when you were just depressed."

I cringed at the fact that he stayed after knowing how awful I was. I asked why.

He answered within a second. "I love you, I'm not going to let you go over one mistake." He took a deep breath before quoting, "For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. Confess and be forgiven."

"No, no, no. God will forgive me. You're just a man. You have to feel something. You are such a good person, and I've betrayed you more than once." I listened to Tank's speech about how everything would be fine, and I couldn't take it.

My father did the same thing with my mother. He was a man of great faith, but throwing around Bible quotes don't make you forgive someone. Every time he was done wrong, he hid it, only to be hurt again. It was clear to see that he was tired. He raised three kids that had to watch his pain build over the years, and they all wished that he would have seen that he deserved so much better.

Tank deserved better.

"I wouldn't have asked you to marry me if I didn't need you in my life," he admitted. "No, we don't have great examples to follow. My mom ran my dad away, and he was so glad to get away from her that he didn't think about anything else he was leaving. I'm not my mom or dad. You're not your-"

"But I did exactly what she did."

"We do what we want." He wanted to marry me regardless. He took the engagement ring and turned to me. "Why do you think I chose this ring, Mercedes?" His finger ran across the stones of the ring.

I shrugged.

The three diamonds symbolized the past, the present and the future. In our past, we had plenty of love, but there were also neglect, miscommunications, arguments and cheating. The present is where we live with everything you've learned from the past. The future is full of new lessons that will teach us more, but you have to take the punch and believe that you can bounce back. The ring was gorgeous, but the meaning was powerful.

"I've never said anything to you that I didn't mean," he promised. He took my hand in his and held the ring in his other. "Mercedes, do you love me?" He didn't want a nod or head shake. He demanded that I look at him and say what I felt.

When I looked at him, my heart skipped. I dropped my head as my tears began again. "I cant!" It pained me to say that I couldn't, but that didn't mean that I didn't want to.

Tank scooted closer to me. He didn't say a word, but he held me the exact way that I need to be.

* * *

Five years later, and I still think of that time as the craziest months of my life. I rarely tell that story, but it taught me a lot. It helped build me into the dominating woman that I am today. I'm living it up in New York. I manage and sing at a nightclub. I wake up every day and feel more powerful than the last.

Matt watches me from behind the bar. With me sitting in front of him, he compliments, "Good set."

"Like always," I brag.

Kurt, my second bartender, joins us from the other side of the bar. He asks to leave for the night. He smiles and bats his eyelashes as he waits for my answer.

"Kurt, you've been on your phone all night," I warn. "Do you think you deserve to leave?"

"Yes," he answers. "Blaine is in town only for two days. He has a fashion show tomorrow, so I want to spend a little time with him tonight."

I pass the buck to Matt. "If you leave, he has to clean by himself." I know that there's little chance that Matt would allow that; he hates cleaning after closing and isn't going to do it alone.

Kurt's adorable smile fades when he's told no. He tries to bargain with his friend. When all fails, he huffs, "You had your model. I want to enjoy mine."

Matt corrects, "My girl wasn't a model. She just said that. She still works at the pizza joint two blocks down." Matt notices how I perked up; I never heard that story. "She flipped out on me, threw some stuff, and left." He shakes his head at his past mistake. "On our second date, she said that she was crazy, and I thought it was a joke."

Kurt reminds his roommate, "She's the reason you're not allowed to bring girls home." He was relieved that the girl only broke Matt's things.

I turn from Matt to give Kurt my full attention. "You can go, but you have to work everyday that I'm gone next month." I volunteer to stay after with Matt.

Kurt cheers. "Deal." He thinks me and rushes off.

"What kind of business woman are you to buy the club and leave the very next week?"

I had been working for years to save and buy the club. I'm proud to be earning something for myself. I am only days away from closing the deal, and my best friend's wedding isn't going to slow me down.

Tina and Artie's wedding is back in LA. Even though they met through my pain, I completely support them. He makes my best friend happy. They look beautiful together.

I'm sure that I will see Puck at the wedding. I'm not bothered by him. I don't know what he's been up to. Out of my old partners, he's the one that I chose not to keep up with.

Even though things got weird, Finn and I still follow each other online. He's still happily married to Rachel. He looks extremely dilf-y with his two kids.

Sugar isn't hard to find. The little rich women found respect for the collared life. She still works for the kink app, and hasn't received a negative review yet.

Mike continues to keep his business small, insisting to be hands on. To all his employees, he's still the mysterious headmaster. He continues to make appointments with his father, but shows no interest in following in his footsteps.

I see Sam everyday. He has a billboard over the road I take to the club. But seriously, I've only seen him though his ads. I can't deny that he still looks great.

I am left alone at the end of the bar to review the songs of my next set. I'm humming the tune when I notice that a customer sits beside me. I lift my head and straighten my posture to seem professional, but I don't look away from my sheet music. A clear voice asks when would the next show start, and I answer, "I just started my break. It's going to be a while."

"Well it's worth the wait. I'm a big fan of yours."

I look up, and marvel at the familiar face. "What are you doing here?" I question with a giggle.

Sam smiles at me. "A few people told me that there was good music here," he explains. "How have you been?" He was eager to hear about my life over the past few years, and then he did the same for himself.

Sam had recently moved to The Big Apple: it was easier for his line of work. He is highly sought after and was declared the third most recognizable male model in the world. His busy career doesn't stop him from romancing the ladies. He is dating a lawyer that Santana introduced him to.

Although he's going steady in his relationship, he had to take a moment to speak on what we had. Our last encounter haunted him for a while. "I waited a long time for an answer, but you could have told me no when I asked. I would have been fine." He watches me with his green eyes. "You were taken care of by your boyfriend, so I offered you the same. I thought that was what you wanted."

I argue, "No, I wanted the opposite. I didn't want to rely on a man. I wanted everything that I had to come because I worked for it. I didn't know how to say it then, so you had no way of knowing that I felt that way."

"Well..." He rubs his palms together under the bar. "I think owning this club is amazing," he says.

A pair of cold hands touch my shoulders, causing me to jump. "I'm sorry," Tank chuckles. He kisses my temple before introducing himself. He side eyes the blonde. "You look really familiar," he says.

Sam happily shakes Tank's hand. He pauses, allowing Tank to study him. "Do you go through Times Square? I have a new ad up almost every two month… Not bragging," he laughs.

Tank nods after his realization. "Yeah, I pass by your watch billboard before I get to the theater."

Wrapping Tank's hand in mine, I move it from my shoulder to my lap. "Speaking of the theater, why aren't you there?"

He steps back as if he was offended. "I thought you'd be more excited to see me." He mindlessly began to rub his thumb over my rings; it was a habit of his when we held hands. "The show got delayed an hour. I wanted to catch one of your performances."

Tank has built a great career. With his Christian rock music, he's a mainstream artist. He has three Grammys, but he's going to have to make room for the Tony Award I'm sure he deserves. He did a few faith based movies, but his acting ability shines on stage. With his career moving at a fast pace, he always sends love to his wife; he is my personal cheerleader.

I smirk at the two men. "I still have ten minutes in my break."

In unison, they say, "I'll wait." They continue to talk, and I listen and monitor every word they say to each other.

* * *

Every night I'd lie in bed and daydream about my club. What would I change? How would I make it mine? My mind rushes with the fantasy.

Tank strolls into our bedroom and asks, "You hear that?"

I continue to swipe through the images on my tablet. "No," I honestly answer. I hear nothing but him.

He waves the baby monitor. "I got the twins down in record time."

After a year of couples counseling, Tank and I were married on our anniversary. We have been comfortable and confident in our relationship since the day we said "I do." We were quick to start a family. We have three sons: Ezekiel, and twins, Isaac and Jeremiah.

I groan when the tablet is taken out of my hands. "Please, five more minutes."

He leans over me with a smirk. "If you give me five minutes." He smothers me with a deep and sensual kiss. His fingers hook under my knee and separate it from the other, and then he moves between the space.

I break the kiss and challenge, "Five minutes? That's not a lot of time."

"Zeke was conceived in three minutes in the back of a limo."

I snicker at the memory. I look into his brown eyes, and the world stops spinning. "You know how much you mean to me, right?"

"Yes."

After seven years of dating and four years of marriage, I haven't told Tank "I love you" verbally. I could write, type, and sing about love, but I couldn't say it directly to anyone. When I tried, I cracked under the pressure every time. I refuse to look into the psychology of it; I am who I am. I decided that I didn't have to say those three words as long as I showed it in actions.

He returns for a quick kiss. "Five minutes," he promises with no plans to keep it. He lifts my slip, leaving me vulnerable in just panties. His fingers wander the curve of my breast and circle my nipple. In a tone as soft as his touch, he says, "Tell me what you want."

I ponder my response. I rest my fingers on the side of my neck. "I want your lips here," I admit.

Tank moves my fingers, and his lips peck at the abandoned spot. "Yeah, I can do that," he says. He's confident that he knows my next answer. His hand travels to my thigh, and the higher he moves, the higher the flames inside of me rise.

"I want-" I pause when he stops only inches from my center. "I want your hands here." I move his hand over my remaining skin to my underwear. I release his hand resting on the seat of my panties.

He pulls the cloth aside. His finger pass between my folds to relax on my clit. "Here?" he asks. He smirks at me as he waits for an answer.

"That's better."

He gives slow and wet kisses then progresses. His hot breath rushes over the skin dampened by his tongue. He begins to suck and nibble along the side of my neck. He wants to leave his mark on me; I am his as he is mine.

His fingers massage my button, making me melt. They move gently over, in circles, and squeeze my clit between. When his fingers are flooded in a pool of my natural lube, they lower to the entrance of my vagina. Covered in my juices, his middle and index finger sinks deep into me. They begin to work in and out, back and forth.

With a need to feel his body against mine, I hold him tight; our frames fit together nicely. My hips sway, grinding my clit against my husband's hand. My chest slides against his. "Please, Tank," I puff. "Don't stop. Please, not now."

TAP! TAP! TAP!

He disobeys my orders when he hears knocks on the closed door. He knew that it could only be our son. He cleans his fingers with a tissue from my bedside table as I redress. Hoping out of bed, he volunteers, "I'll put him back to bed. I'll be quick. He just wants the nightlight on."

Impatient, Zeke begins to cry out for his mom and dad. When the door opens, he pouts. He whines about the dark; the hall light wasn't enough for him.

Tank lifts the teary eyed toddler into his arms. He takes two steps out of the room then turns back to me. "Don't get back on the tablet… I still have two minutes," he reminds.

I slump back into bed. I can't prevent the corners of my lips from lifting.

I am living a great life; it's a blessing. My life still isn't perfect. It's chaotic at times, but I have people around me to help me through it. I am a wife, a mother, a daughter, a friend, and a woman in control. I am happy- why should I apologize for that?

* * *

 **Thank you for reading my first fanfic.**


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